been for Bob.

Mrs. Bradley. I'll give it up, Ned dear, if you say so.

Mrs. Perkins (affectionately). That's sweet of you, Emma.

Bradley. No, indeed, you won't, for--er--I--I rather like it while
it's going on, and when I learn to get off--

Yardsley. Which you will very shortly.

Barlow. You bet! he's a dandy. I taught him.

Bradley. I think I'll adore it.

Perkins. Buy a Czar wheel, Brad. Best in the market; weighs only
twenty pounds. I've got one with a ki-yi pump and a pneumatic gun
you can have for ten dollars.

Jennie (at the door). Supper is served ma'am. [Exit.

Mrs. Perkins. Let us go out and restore our nerves. Come, Emma.

[She and Mrs. Bradley walk out.

Yardsley (aside). I say, Brad, you owe me five.

Bradley. What for?

Yardsley. Bail.

Barlow. Cheap too.

Yardsley. Very. I think he ought to open a bottle besides.

Perkins. I'll attend to the bottles. We'll have three.

Barlow. Two will be enough.

Perkins. Three--two of fizz for you and Bob and the ladies, and if
Bradley will agree, I'll split a quart of Pond's Extract with him.

Bradley. I'll go you. I think I could take care of the whole quart
myself.

Perkins. Then we'll make it four bottles.

Mrs. Perkins (appearing at door with her arm about Mrs. Bradley).
Aren't you coming?

Perkins (rising with difficulty). As fast as we can, my dear. We've
been taking lessons, you know, and can't move as rapidly as the rest
of you. We're a trifle--ah--a trifle tired. Yardsley, you tow
Bradley into the dining room; and, Barlow, kindly pretend I'm a
shawl, will you, and carry me in.

Bradley. I'll buy a wheel to-morrow.

Perkins. Don't, Brad. I--I'll give you mine. Fact is, old man, I
don't exactly like feeling like a bird.

[They go out, and as the last, Perkins and Bradley, disappear stiffly
through the portieres, the curtain falls.

A DRAMATIC EVENING

CHARACTERS:

MR. THADDEUS PERKINS, a victim.
MR. EDWARD BRADLEY, a friend in disguise.
MR. ROBERT YARDSLEY, an amiable villain.
MR. JOHN BARLOW, the amiable villain's assistant.
MRS. THADDEUS PERKINS, a martyr.
MRS. EDWARD BRADLEY, a woman of executive ability.
JENNIE, a housemaid.

The scene is placed in the drawing-room of Mr. and Mrs. Thaddeus
Perkins, of New York. The time is a Saturday evening in the early
spring, and the hour is approaching eight. The curtain, rising,
discovers Perkins, in evening dress, reading a newsp