Mrs. Perkins. I--I think we'd rather have a frame, Mr. Yardsley.
_We_ can have one made, can't we, Thaddeus?

Perkins. Certainly. We can have anything made. (Aside.) I suppose
I'd build a theatre for 'em if they asked me to, I'm such a
confounded--

Yardsley. Oh no. Of course, if you'd prefer it, we'll send a frame.
I don't think nails would look well in this ceiling, after all.
Temporarily, though, Barlow, you might hang those portieres from the
picture-moulding.

Barlow. There isn't any.

Yardsley. Well, then, we'll have to imagine how it will look.

Mrs. Bradley. All the bric-a-brac will have to be taken from the
room.

Yardsley. True. Perkins, you know the house better than we do.
Suppose you take the bric-a-brac out and put it where it will be
safe.

Perkins. Certainly.

[Begins to remove bric-a-brac.

Yardsley. Now let's count up. Here's the fountain.

Barlow. Yes; only we haven't the hose.

Bradley. Well, make a note of it.

Mrs. Perkins. Emma, can't we help Thaddeus?

Mrs. Bradley. Of course. I'll carry out the fender, and you take
the andirons.

[They do so.

Yardsley. The entrance will be here, and here will be the curtain.
How about footlights?

Bradley. This bracket will do for a connection. Any plumber can
take this bracket off and fasten a rubber pipe to it.

Yardsley. First-rate. Barlow, make a note of one plumber, one
length of rubber pipe, and foot-lights.

Bradley. And don't forget to have potted plants and palms, and so
forth, galore.

Barlow. No. I'll make a note of that. Will this sofa do for a
conservatory?

Yardsley. Jove! Glad you mentioned that. Won't do at all.
Thaddeus! (No answer.) I hope we haven't driven him to drink.

Bradley. So do I. I'd rather he'd lead us to it.

Yardsley. Thaddeus!

Perkins (from without). Well?

Yardsley. Do you happen to have any conservatory benches in the
house?

Mrs. Perkins (appearing in doorway). We have a patent laundry table.

Barlow. Just the thing.

Yardsley (calling). Bring up the patent laundry table, Thaddeus.
(To Bradley.) What is a patent laundry table?

Bradley. It's what my wife calls the cook's delight. It's an
ironing-board on wash-days, a supper table at supper-time, and on the
cook's reception days it can be turned into a settee.

Yardsley. It describes well.

Perkins (from a distance). Hi! come down and help me with this
thing. I can't carry it up alone.