of sorts we want to hurry up and get through.

Mrs. Bradley. Oh, we'll be through by twelve o'clock.

Enter Yardsley and Barlow.

Yardsley. Ah! here we are at last. The wreckers have arrove.
Where's Perkins?

Barlow. Taken to the woods, I fancy. I say, Bob, don't you think
before we begin we'd better give Perkins ether? He'll suffer
dreadful agony.

Enter Mrs. Perkins, wiping her eyes.

Mrs. Perkins. How do you do, Mr. Barlow? and you, Mr. Yardsley? So
glad to see you. Thaddeus will be down in a minute. He--ah--he
forgot about the--the meeting here to-night, and he--he put on his
dress-coat.

Yardsley. Bad thing to lift a piano in. Better be without any coat.
But I say we begin--eh? If you don't mind, Mrs. Perkins. We've got
a great deal to do, and unfortunately hours are limited in length as
well as in number. Ah! that fireplace must be covered up. Wouldn't
do to have a fireplace in a conservatory. Wilt all the flowers in
ten minutes.

Mrs. Perkins (meekly). You needn't have the fire lit, need you?

Barlow. No--but--a fireplace without fire in it seems sort of--of
bald, don't you think?

Yardsley. Bald? Splendid word applied to a fireplace. So few
fireplaces have hair.

Mrs. Bradley. Oh, it could be covered up without any trouble,
Bessie. Can't we have those dining-room portieres to hang in front
of it?

Yardsley. Just the thing. Dining-room portieres always look well,
whether they're in a conservatory or a street scene. (Enter
Perkins.) Hello, Thaddeus! How d' y'? Got your overalls on?

Perkins (trying to appear serene). Yes. I'm ready for anything.
Anything I can do?

Bradley. Yes--look pleasant. You look as if you were going to have
your picture taken, or a tooth pulled. Haven't you a smile you don't
need that you can give us? This isn't a funeral.

Perkins (assuming a grin). How'll that do?

Barlow. First-rate. We'll have to make you act next. That's the
most villanous grin I ever saw.

Yardsley. I'll write a tragedy to go with it. But I say, Thad, we
want those dining-room portieres of yours. Get 'em down for us, will
you?

Perkins. Dining-room portieres! What for?

Mrs. Perkins. They all think the fireplace would better be hid,
Thaddeus, dear. It wouldn't look well in a conservatory.

Perkins. I suppose not. And the dining-room portieres are wanted to
cover up the fireplace?

Yardsley. Precisely. You have a managerial brain, Thaddeus