dsley (desperately). You can help me, both of you--but--but I
can't very well tell you how.

Barlow. I'm willing to do all I can for you, my dear Bob. If you
will only tell us her name I'll even go so far as to call, in your
behalf, and propose for you.

Yardsley. Oh, thanks. You are very kind.

Dorothy. I think so too, Mr. Barlow. You are almost too kind, it
seems to me.

Yardsley. Oh no; not too kind, Miss Andrews. Barlow simply realizes
that one who has proposed marriage to young girls as frequently as he
has knows how the thing is done, and he wishes to give me the benefit
of his experience. (Aside.) That's a facer for Barlow.

Barlow. Ha, ha, ha! Another joke, I suppose. You see, my dear Bob,
that I am duly appreciative. I laugh. Ha, ha, ha! But I must say I
laugh with some uncertainty. I don't know whether you intended that
for a joke or for a staggerer. You should provide your conversation
with a series of printed instructions for the listener. Get a lot of
cards, and have printed on one, "Please laugh"; on another, "Please
stagger"; on another, "Kindly appear confused." Then when you mean
to be jocose hand over the laughter card, and so on. Shall I
stagger?

Dorothy. I think that Mr. Yardsley meant that for a joke. Didn't
you, Mr. Yardsley?

Yardsley. Why, certainly. Of course. I don't really believe Barlow
ever had sand enough to propose to any one. Did you, Jack?

Barlow (indignant). Well, I rather think I have.

Dorothy. Ho, ho! Then you _are_ an experienced proposer, Mr.
Barlow?

Barlow (confused). Why--er--well--um--I didn't exactly mean that,
you know. I meant that--ah--if it ever came to the--er--the test, I
think I could--I'd have sand enough, as Yardsley puts it, to do the
thing properly, and without making a--ah--a Yardsley of myself.

Yardsley (bristling up). Now what do you mean by that?

Dorothy. I think you are both of you horrid this afternoon. You are
so quarrelsome. Do you two always quarrel, or is this merely a
little afternoon's diversion got up for my especial benefit?

Barlow (with dignity). I never quarrel.

Yardsley. Nor I. I simply differ sometimes, that's all. I never
had an unpleasant word with Jack in my life. Did I, Jack?

Barlow. Never. I always avoid a fracas, however great the
provocation.

Dorothy (desperately). Then let us have a cup of tea together and be
more sociable. I have always noticed that tea promotes soc