t look very well, will it?

Yardsley. Oh, very. You see, we'll put it in the centre of the
room. Just move that table out into the hall, Thaddeus. (Enter
Barlow with tub.) Ah! now I'll show you. (Perkins removes table.)
You see, we put the tub here in the middle of the floor, then we
surround it with potted plants. That conceals the tub, and there's
your fountain.

Perkins. But the water--how do you get that?

Bradley. We buy it in bottles, of course, and hire a boy to come in
and pour it out every two minutes. How dull you are, Perkins! I'm
surprised at you.

Perkins. I'm not over-bright, I must confess, when it comes to
building fountains in parlors, with no basis but an English bath-tub
to work on.

Yardsley. Did you ever hear of such a thing as a length of hose with
a nozzle on one end and a Croton-water pipe at the other, Thaddeus
Perkins?

Mrs. Perkins. But where is the Croton-water pipe?

Mrs. Bradley. In the butler's pantry. The hose can be carried
through the dining-room, across the hall into this room, and it will
be dreadfully effective; and so safe, too, in case the curtain
catches fire.

Mrs. Perkins. Oh, Emma! You don't think--

Perkins. Cheerful prospect. But I say, Yardsley, you have arranged
for the water supply; how about its exit? How does the water get out
of the tub?

Yardsley. It doesn't, unless you want to bore a hole in the floor,
and let it flow into the billiard-room below. We've just got to
hustle that scene along, so that the climax will be reached before
the tub overflows.

Barlow. Perhaps we'd better test the thing now. Maybe my tub isn't
large enough for the scene. It would be awkward if the heroine had
to seize a dipper and bail the fountain out right in the middle of an
impassioned rebuke to Hartley.

Perkins. All right--go ahead. Test it. Test anything. I'll supply
the Croton pipes.

Yardsley. None of you fellows happen to have a length of hose with
you, do you?

Bradley. I left mine in my other clothes.

Mrs. Bradley. That's just like you men. You grow flippant over very
serious matters. For my part, if I am to play Gwendoline, I shall
not bail out the fountain even to save poor dear Bessie's floor.

Yardsley. Oh, it'll be all right. Only, if you see the fountain
getting too full, speak faster.

Barlow. We might announce a race between the heroine and the
fountain. It would add to the interest of the play. This is an
ath