actical horseshoer" of Sublette, Ill.

* * *

ACADEMY NOTES.

The nominations were considered of Ananias Deeds of Guthrie Center, Ia.,
and Mrs. Tamer Lyons of Upton, Ind. The Academy then resumed work on
the Dictionary of Names.

* * *

"For goodness' sake!" exclaims Frank Harris in Pearson's, expressing his
joy in the growth of Lenine's state, "for goodness' sake let us have new
experiments on this old earth." For goodness's sake, let's! But why not
have one on a grand scale? Let's dig a hole a mile deep and a mile
across, fill it with dynamite, and see whether we can't finish the world
in one good bang.

* * *

"Learned Class of Europe In Hard Straits."

They are in hard straits everywhere. The more learned you are, the worse
you're off.

* * *

"Budapest Hungriest of Cities in all Europe."--South Bend Tribune.

The headliner must have his little joke.

* * *

WE DON'T LIKE TO THINK OF IT!

[From the Cambridge Review.]

Think of the portrait that Rembrandt painted of his mother hanging in
the living-room of his parents' simple home.

* * *

Our blithesome contemporary, F. P. A., is not disturbed by the steel
strike, as he uses a gold pen; and for a like reason _our_ withers are
unwrung. Eugene Field of fragrant memory used a steel pen. A friend of
ours was speaking of having dropped in on the poet just as he was
fitting a new pen to the holder. "You can't write anything new," said
Field, "unless you have a new pen."

* * *

THE SECOND POST.

[Received by a mail order house.]

Dear Sir: The peeaney you shipped me sum time ago come duly recd. My, is
we souposed to pay the frate charge onit. When we bot this peeanney you
claimed to lie it down to me. I want you two send me quick as hell a
receet for 2.29 for same. Besyds the kees on sum dont work a tall. Is
them ivory finger boards. Are dealer here sed we got beet on this deel.
Wer is the thing you seet on? Is it eeen that box on the platform at the
depo? That luks two small for it. Yours truely, etc.

P. S.--Wen you rite tel me how two tune it.

* * *

Fireplace heating, says Dr. Evans, is the most wasteful. True. And the
most agreeable. So many things that make life endurable in this vale of
tears are wasteful.

* * *

"Since her tour of the Pacific Coast," declare