ican man has a mental picture of his wife standing behind the
door with a rolling-pin."--Blasco Ibanez.

We fear the gifted Spaniard has acquired an idea of American domestic
life from Mr. Tom Powers' sketches and other back-page comics.

* * *

A reader wonders what we can find in a book so childishly egotistical as
Margot Asquith's Autobiography. Answer: much that is interesting. When
we read an autobiography we are interested in the people written about
rather than in the writer. There are exceptions, of course; for example,
Henry Adams and Jacques Casanova.

* * *

THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS.

[Iowa City Item.]

An unusual function for men in business circles was that which John
Voelkel, janitor of the First National bank, supervised, Saturday
evening. He gave a dinner, card party and a smoker to all the officers
of the bank. Invitations were issued to every member of the staff, from
president to clerk, and those who assembled at the custodian's home made
merry for several hours at an event probably without a duplicate in
banking history in Iowa City.

* * *

VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.

Sir: Please send me a copy of the famous valve handle wheeze. I have
heard so much about it. I hope this reaches you before your limited
supply is exhausted.

O. G. C.

P. S.--One of the fellows in the office just told me the joke, so you
need not bother to send me a copy.

O. G. C.

* * *

CRUELLE ET INSOLITE.

[Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]

This ticket is good for one continuous passage only in the direction
shown by conductor's punch in the face hereof.

* * *

HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.

Sir: While visiting in a New England family I accused them of being
"highbrows," and they gave me these modern synonyms for highbrow and
lowbrow, taken from a Boston paper:

Highbrow: Browning, anthropology, economics, Bacon, the string
quartette, the uplift, inherent sin, Gibbon, fourth dimension,
Euripides, "eyether," pate de fois gras, lemon phosphate, Henry Cabot
Lodge, Woodrow Wilson.

Low-highbrow: Municipal government, Kipling, socialism, Shakespeare,
politics, Thackeray, taxation, golf, grand opera, bridge, chicken a la
Maryland, "eether," stocks and bonds, gin rickey, Theodore Roosevelt,
chewing gum in private.

High-lowbrow: Musical comedy, euch