are the name and address of a
Solicitor.]

SCENE--_Drowsiham Vicarage._ Vicar _and Family discovered seated at
breakfast-table. Time--Present._

_The Vicar._ I only advertised for a Curate in last Saturday's _Church
Papers_, and already I have received more than sixty applications by the
post, all of them, apparently, from persons of the highest
respectability, whose views, too, happen to coincide entirely with my
own! Dear me! I suppose these may be called the "Clerical Unemployed."

_Elder Daughter (giddily)._ Pa! Have any of them sent photos?

_Vicar._ Yes, all of them. It seems to be the new method to inclose
_cartes-de-visite_ with testimonials.

_Younger Daughter._ Now I shall be able to fill up my Album!

_Elder Daughter (who has been running her eye over the pictures)._ This
is the pick of the lot, Pa. Take him! Such a dear! He's got an eyeglass,
and whiskers, and curly hair, and seems quite young!

_Younger Daughter (thoughtfully)._ It's a pity we can't lay in _two_
Curates while we are about it.

_Vicar._ Hem! A rather nice-looking young man, certainly. Let's see what
he says about himself. The new system saves a lot of trouble, as
candidates for posts write down their qualifications on the back of
their photographs.

_Elder Daughter (reading)._ "Views strictly orthodox." Oh, bother views!
Here's something better--"Very Musical Voice"--the _darling_! He _looks_
as if he had a musical voice. "Warranted not to go beyond fifteen
minutes in preaching." Delicious!

_Vicar's Wife._ I don't know if the parishioners will like _that_.

_Both Daughters (together)._ But _we_ shall!

_Elder Daughter (continues reading)._ "Quite content to preach only in
the afternoons. No attempts to rival Vicar's eloquence." What _does_ he
mean?

_Vicar (cordially)._ I know! I think he'll do very well. _Just_ the sort
of man I want!

_Elder Daughter._ Ha! Listen to this! "Can play the banjo, and
twenty-six games of lawn-tennis without fatigue." The pet!

_Younger Daughter._ Perfectly engaging! Oh, Pa, wire to him _at once_!

_Elder Daughter (turning pale)._ Stop! What is this? "Very steady and
respectable. _Has been engaged to be married for past three years!_"
Call _him_ engaging, indeed! No chance of it. The wretch!

_Younger Daughter._ A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing! Can't you prosecute him,
Pa?

_Vicar (meditatively)._ I might--in the Archbishop's Court. Really this
new self-recommendation plan, though useful