outsiders, whom a set of rascals, more cunning than himself, have
represented to him as certainties. His position on the Stock Exchange
becomes shaky, and he attempts to restore it by embarking with a gang of
needy rogues on a first-class "roping" transaction, in connection with a
prize-fight in Spain. Having, however, been exposed, he is shunned by
most of those who only heard of the swindle when it was too late to join
in it.

This is the beginning of the end. He becomes careless of his appearance;
with the decrease of his means his coats become shiny, and his cuffs
more and more frayed. Eventually he falls into a state of sodden
imbecility, relieved by occasional flashes of delirium tremens, and dies
at the age of thirty-six, regretted by nobody except the faithful
bull-dog, whose silver collar was the last thing he pawned.

* * * * *

A New Opera (in Preparation).

_Librettist._ Now here's a grand effect. They all say, "We swear!" Then
there's a magnificent "Oath Chorus!" How do you propose to treat that?

_Composer._ Oath Chorus? In D Major.

* * * * *

A PAGE FROM AN IMPERIAL NOTE-BOOK.--So far so good. Got rid of the Grand
Old Chancellor and the rest of _that_ crew--without much of a row! Been
civil to my English Uncle, the Pope and the Democrats. Can't be idle, so
what shall I do next? Why not take a trip to America where I might stand
for President? If I propose extending trip to Salt Lake, would have to
go _en garcon_. Or I might see if I could not get a little further than
STANLEY in Africa. When I returned might write a book to be called, _The
Extra Deep-Edged Black Continent_. Or why not turn painter? With a
little practice would soon cut out all the Old Masters, native and
foreign. And if I gave my mind to poetry, why GOETHE and HEINE would be
simply nowhere! How about horse-racing? A Berlin Derby Day would make my
English cousins "sit up." And sermons, there's something to be done in
sermons! I believe I could compose as good a discourse as any of my
Court chaplains. And then, possibly, I might be qualified to do that
which would satisfy the sharpest craving of my loftiest ambition--_I
might write for Punch!_

[So he shall. He shall "write for _Punch_," enclosing stamps, and
the Number shall be sent to him by return.--ED.]

* * * * *

PLAY-TIME.

SINCE the first night, if hearsay evidence ca