CRATCH COMPANY."--A Cat Show.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH--AND HOW HE
RETALIATES.

_She._ "OH, HE MAY BE A _GENIUS_. BUT I CONFESS I DON'T _CARE_ FOR THE
SOCIETY OF GENIUSES!"

_He._ "HOW VERY PERSONAL OF YOU! IT'S AS IF _I_ WERE TO CONFESS I DIDN'T
CARE FOR THE SOCIETY OF HANDSOME WOMEN!"]

* * * * *

WHERE MARRIAGES ARE MADE.

THE application for a licence to marry at St. George's, Albemarle
Street, made by the JEUNE PREMIER, Q.C., on behalf of the Rev. Dr. KER
GRAY, was opposed by Canon CAPEL CURE, of St. George's, Hanover Square,
the Hymeneal Temple _par excellence_ of the Metropolis. Dr. TRISTRAM,
with traditional Shandyan caution, said he would "take time to consider
his decision." Should Dr. Time be adverse to the opponents, then will
the Minister with the sad-dog name of "KER GRAY" become the Canon's
_bete noire_. If the decision be t'other way, then KER GRAY may twit the
Canon with being "a regular Cure," and might compose a chant on the old
lines of

"A Cure, a Cure, a Cure, a Cure,
Oh isn't he a Cure!"

While the Canon could retaliate with a parody on "_Old Dog Tray_."

"The chapel's far too near,
But p'raps another year
May put a stop to old KER GRAY."

In the meantime, the affair being _sub (Punch-and-) judice_, we refrain
from further comment, and wish luck to both Reverend Gentlemen.

* * * * *

SENTENCE RE-VERSED.

'Gin a body meet a body
On the Queen's highway,
And a body kiss a body,
Won't a body pay?
Mony a lassie has a temper.
Mony a beak is stern;
At six weeks' quod, and fourteen bob,
The lesson's hard to learn.

* * * * *

TOO MUCH A MATTER OF COURSE.--Cruelty to Hares.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, March 24._--Prince ARTHUR explained in speech
nearly two hours long the bearings of Irish Land Purchase Bill. In
course of his exposition the happy accident by which civilised man is
furnished with two coat-tails was strikingly illustrated. On the
Treasury Bench, behind Prince ARTHUR, sat, on either hand, OLD MORALITY
and JOKIM. Supposing the Prince had had only one coat-tail, differences
might have arisen between his two right hon. friends; sure at some
period of the prolonge