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o]' 'an dat. Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Now, I don't know no m[=o]' 'an dat. If you gits m[=o]' you can take my hat. Uh-huh! Uh-huh! An' if you thinks dat hat won't do. Uh-huh! Uh-huh! An' if you thinks dat hat won't do, Den you mought take my head 'long, too. Uh-huh!!! Uh-huh!!! SHOO! SHOO! Shoo! Shoo! What'll I do? Run three mile an' buckle my shoe? No! No! I'se gwineter go, An' kill dat chicken on my fl[=o]'. Oh! My! Chicken pie! Sen' fer de Doctah, I mought die. Christmus here, Once a year. Pass dat cider an' 'simmon beer. FLAP-JACKS I loves my wife, an' I loves my baby: An' I loves dem flap-jacks a-floatin' in gravy. You play dem chyards, an' make two passes: While I eats dem flap-jacks a-floatin' in 'lasses. Now: in come a Nigger an' in come a bear, In come a Nigger dat hain't got no hair. Good-by, Nigger, go right on back, Fer I hain't gwineter give you no flap-jack. TEACHING TABLE MANNERS Now whilst we's here 'round de table, All you young ones git right still. I wants to l'arn you some good manners, So's you'll think o' Uncle Bill. Cose we's gwineter 'scuse Merlindy, Caze she's jes a baby yit. But it's time you udder young ones Wus a-l'arnin' a liddle bit. I can 'member as a youngster, Lak you youngsters is to-day; How my mammy l'arnt me manners In a 'culiar kind o' way. One o' mammy's ole time 'quaintance. (Ole Aunt Donie wus her name) Come one night to see my mammy. Mammy co'se 'pared fer de same. Mammy got de sifter, Honey; An' she tuck an' make up dough, Which she tu'n into hot biscuits. Den we all git smart, you know. 'Zerves an' biscuits on de table! Honey, noways could I wait. Ole Aunt Donie wus a good ole 'oman, An' I jes had to pass my plate. I soon swallered down dem biscuit, E't 'em faster dan a shoat. Dey wus a liddle tough an' knotty, But I chawed 'em lak a goat. "Pass de biscuits, please, Mam! Please, Mam, fer I wants some m[=o]'." Lawd! You'd oughter seed my mammy Frownin' up, jes "sorter so." "Won't you pass de biscuit, please, Mam?" I said wid a liddle fear. Dere wus not but one m[=o]' lef', Sir. Mammy riz up out'n her chear. W'en Aunt Donie lef' our house, Suh, Mammy come lak bees an
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