to mine shtore-crocery, and I can't tell you so much damage as it do;
and ven I look for de cats, I find her about an hour rolled up in a
pasket fon green beas, mit all de hair scorch off de pehind side fon
her. Dis vas on Saturday night vill be two veeks.'

"'Why didn't you catch them then?' asked one of the party.

"'Ketch dem,' said the grocery-man; 'pefore I vas get over mine scare,
dey vas run avay, and you might yust so vell try to find a needle mit a
hay-shtacks as to find dem. But I tells de constopples about dem, and
dey say dey vill look out for dem. Vell, two tree days go by, and von
morning I comes down shtairs to unlocks de door fon mine shtore-crocery.
De key vas in de inside de door, and ven I durns dem round to unlock dem
yust, I hears some-dings shoot off on de oder side de door. I vas much
scare, and I runs up shtairs, for I dinks some feller vants to shoot me,
and I sends my vife out de oder door to look round on de shtep-walk, and
see who vas dere. Ven she come back she say der bin no beeples dere, and
so I go vonce more to unlocks de door. I durns de key so quick as I can,
ven pop! crack! shoot! I hears again de noise. I vas so much scare dat
I falls over, and I bulls de door open. Ven I finds I vas not shoot, I
looks in de lock and finds dere some bieces baper, vat you make de
little vite vire-crackers--you call'----

"'Torpedoes,' suggested one of the persons present.

"'Yes, dorpedoes,' resumed the German, 'dat's the name.'

"'How do you know these boys put torpedoes in your lock?' asked one.

"'I know it so vell as I vants to know,' was the response.

"'Did you see 'em do it, or did anybody else? was the next question.

"'No, I did not see dem do it, but I know it was dem I can, shvear it
vas dem,' said the confident accuser.

"'Pretty good swearin,' said a man in a red shirt. 'Say, old sour
krout,' he continued, 'what else have the boys done?'

"'Mine Gott!' said the corner grocery-man, despairingly, 'is dat not
enough vat I have tell you? Ven I go out my shtore-crocery for a minute,
vonce dey durns de shpiggot fon de lager bier and vinegar parrells, and
dey runs out in de floor and vaste; ven doy see me in de shtreets dey
calls me '_Old nicht's cum araus, sour kraut, sprech Deutsch._' Dey
finds dead rats, and trovs dem on mine awning till dey shmells so bad;
dey brings an old barber's pole, and sets dem up before mine
shtore-crocery, on vich vas paint, 'shaving done here,' and ven de