was
uninteresting, he had yet been able to collate some facts which he
doubted not would be regarded as worthy of being recorded upon the
minutes of the club.

After taking a punch, Mr. Van Dam proceeded.

He stated that a dozen or two individuals, all of whom, not having the
fear of the law before their eyes, and being instigated by a morbid
thirst, and who did in the city and county of New York drink, swill,
imbibe, smile, guzzle, suck, and pour down various spirituous,
fermented, or malt liquors, wine, beer, ale or cider, and from the
effects thereof did get drunk, were severally favored with moral
lectures and ten dollar fines. The first were not appreciated, and the
second were not paid.

But the case which interested Mr. Van Dam most was that of four boys,
named Frederick T. White, Michael Keefe, John Wheeler, and Manning
Hough, who were arraigned on a charge of disorderly conduct. They were
bright-looking boys of about thirteen years of age, dressed in plain but
neat clothes, and with the exception of White, did not seem much to like
the position they occupied. There was a devil-may-care, though not a
vicious look, about White, which was positively refreshing. He seemed to
rather like the position than otherwise, and from a roguish leer that
was observed in his eye as he surveyed a personage who was to appear as
the witness against him, Mr. Van Dam was led to anticipate something in
the shape of novelty, and he accordingly prepared for the worst. The
Judge told the boys the nature of the charge against them. The name of
the witness being called, Mr. Conrad Heinrich Holzenkamp announced his
presence by an emphatic 'Here.'

Mr. Holzenkamp was a man who was the very ideal of a lager bier saloon
keeper. His weight was at least two hundred and seventy-five pounds, one
half of which could be set down to lager bier. His height was not more
than five feet eight, but the circumference and diameter of the lager
bier were enormous. He carried himself erect by necessity to balance
the lager bier in the front. His hide was in wrinkles across the back
of his neck whenever he held back his head, and every wrinkle seemed
ready to burst with lager bier. Mr. Holzenkamp's face looked lager bier;
Mr. Holzenkamp walked lager bier, drank and ate lager bier in
alternation. He thought lager bier, dreamed lager bier. In brief, Mr.
Holzenkamp was composed of two things: first, the effects of lager bier;
and second, lager bier.

Mr.