come in but the butcher; now was my
chance; I rushed at him, but my personal strength was not equal to the
task; he boxed my ears, pulled my nose, and I was cheated out of my
revenge, simply because I wasn't able to lick him. Now I demand of this
intelligent assembly, as a matter of right, the instant annihilation of
the one-eyed butcher now present, the author of all my miseries, that my
Betsey may be restored to me.'

[Illustration]

"Mr. Jenkins sank into a chair, exhausted by his effort.

"The butcher wiped his chops on a red silk handkerchief, and then
proceeded to tell his story, which was as follows, as appears by
Wagstaff's notes;

"'This here feller's allers botherin' my wife, 'cause he says she's
his'n; yesterday he gits drunk, comes in my place, and wants to fight
me. I told him to leave, and he wouldn't, so I hussled him out. I
happened to come in here jus' now, and he comes at me. I doubles him
up, and that's the hull story.'

"The laconic statement of the one-eyed stubby butcher satisfied the
parties assembled that Mr. Jenkins's insane pursuit of another man's
wife had justly brought upon him the indignation of the husband, and he
was advised very generally, in the future, to cease all importunities of
a similar character.

"Finding that his story excited no sympathy in his behalf, Mr. Jenkins
left the place in disgust, and the three Elephantines soon after left in
an omnibus."

Mr. Spout here arose, and said he liked the story in all of its parts,
except the concluding joke, which he considered to be, not only unkind,
but uncalled for. He should take the liberty of considering it expunged
from the records.

Some member here dared to suggest that it was high time that the
Higholdboy should do something else than criticise the contributions of
his fellow-members.

Mr. Spout desired it to be understood that he should admit of no
dictation from inferiors; that he should exercise his own discretion in
deciding whether he would contribute to the amusement of others, or
criticise them in their efforts to be jolly. Yet, without giving up any
of this right, he would volunteer to lay before the club, on the
present occasion, a matter which, to him, possessed some points of
interest, and as he didn't care whether it interested the others or not,
he should state facts for his own amusement. He intended to laugh at
everything which he thought was funny, without any reference to the
comfort of others.

"