taposition to a dirty woman with a squalling baby who has got the
seven years' itch--all of these I can bear, but when it comes to
interfere with my collars it is going a point too far. Now I come to the
time when unforeseen circumstances brought me in violent collision with
this nigger of African extraction; I was walking down the street, near
where the belligerent demonstration took place, when I saw directly in
front of me a long-tailed man in an amiable-appearing coat--no--an
amiable-appearing coat in a long-tailed--no--I mean an amiable-appearing
man in a long-tailed coat. For my life I could not conceive why that
amiable individual's proclivities in matters of apparel should lead him
to wear a garment of so ridiculous a cut. I had just come to the sage
conclusion that it was because every donkey in the country chooses to
have his hips appear high or low to suit the caprice of Broadway
tailors, when at that moment the amiable person, together with his
long-tailed coat, was driven from my mind. I became suddenly conscious
that an important event had transpired. An elderly female nigger, in
throwing water on a store-window which she was cleaning, did not confine
her professional favors exclusively to the window for which she had
been hired, but she disbursed copious supplies of Croton upon the
passers-by, for which she had not been hired. In fact, I am bold to
assert, that several persons were favored with several gratuitous
duckings by this colored female. I was one of those persons; a bountiful
current of water interrupted the current of my thoughts; like a juvenile
Niagara, it dashed against my collar in the left side, as you can see.
Now, my collar is impervious to perspiration, but it could not stand up
under the soaking of a cataract; as my collar fell my choler rose; I
looked around at the sable author of my troubles, and I saw on her face
an exultant grin at what she had done. I felt as if I would like to have
crammed a wet broom which she had in her hand down her throat, splint
end downwards; for obvious reasons I did not do this; but I did speak to
her in language expressive of my emphatic disapprobation of the
unasked-for and informal baptism with which she had been pleased to
favor me; I suppose my words must have frightened her; at any rate she
fell off from a stool on which she was elevated; she gave a scream; this
black Hercules came down the stairs; she informed him that I had
insulted her; he looked at