that shtruck me in me eye;' and wid that Tim he commenced a shtrikin'
out, and he shtruck Dennis Marony under the but of the lug. Whin they
saw Tim out of his coffin, they stopped a fightin', and fell on their
knees, and commenced a sayin' their prayers. 'What's the matther wid
yez?' says Tim.

"'Are ye not dead?' says Larry O'Brien.

"'Yes, as dead as a nest of live flaze,' says Tim.

"'Then yer alive,' says they.

"'Thry me wid some whisky,' says he; and wid that they got up and give
Tim some whisky, which he never dhrank wid a betther grace nor thin.
Well, as Tim wasn't dead, they couldn't howld the wake, but they said it
would be a pity to lave the whisky to spoil, so they agreed that they'd
have the spree just the same. Tim was purty wake from his fit, and so it
didn't take long to make him dead dhrunk, whin we laid him in his bed.
Afther that, yer honor, they kept on a dhrinkin', and was fightin' in
the most frindly way, whin the M.P.s come into the door, and tuck some
of thim off to the station-house. I thin shut up the house, and the rest
wint to bed.

"_Judge._--Mrs. Hennesy, where is Timothy, the corpse?

"'Here, sir,' said a cadaverous-looking Hibernian, 'a little the worse
for dyin' widout bein' very dead.'

"_Judge._--I think you're good for a few years yet if you take care of
yourself. Mr. O'Grady, have your other witnesses anything to testify in
addition to what Mrs. Hennesy has stated?

"_Mr. O'Grady._--I belave not, yer honer. The material facts of the
definse are sufficiently proven by Misthress Hennesy's evidence. Av the
Coort plase, I have a few words to say in behalf of me clients here,
which, av the Coort will hear me, I will make brief and to the point.

"_Judge._--Go on.

"_Mr. O'Grady._--Thin, av the Coort plase, I will state that the ground
of my definse of these gintlemen and ladies against the unfounded
chairge of their disturbin' the public pace, is that the chairge is
unthrue in point of fact. Sir, what are the facts? A man dies, and his
friends congregate about the corpse to perform their last friendly
offices to his remains, in accordance with a custom justified by
thradition, ratified by usage, sanctified by antiquity, vilified by
these officers of the law when they call it a disturbance of the public
quiet, crucified when they burst in the house of mournin' and interfered
wid it in the name of the law; and, sir, I shall now proceed to
establish a definse, _bone fide_, with t