Blotter, the clerk, administered the oath in his characteristic
manner as follows:

"You solemnly swear, in the presence of Almighty God, that the evidence
which you shall give in the present case, shall be the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God, kiss the book, and
get out of my way.

"_Mr. Holzenkamp._--I can shwear to all de dings vat you shpeak, but to
tell de whole troot, dat can I not shwear; ven I can dinks fon all dese
boys have done, I tells you more as genuff to sends them to de
Benidentiary for so long as dey lives; a hoonerd dings dey do vot I
dinks not of.

"_The Court._--Kiss the book, Mr. Holzenkamp.

"The witness proceeded to bring a gill of lager bier contained in his
nose, and a half gill of lager bier contained in his lips, in contact
with a venerable Bible, which has been so familiar with crime by long
association that we almost wonder the text has not been long since
corrupted as much as the cover. Lager bier and the Bible having come in
contact, lager bier is supposed to be incapable of lying.

"_The Court._--Mr. Holzenkamp, please state the circumstances connected
with the arrest of these boys.

"_Mr. H._--Vell, on Vensday night, at von o'clock, my koostumers dey all
goes vay fom mine lager bier saloon, und I say to Yawcob to go mit him
and put up de blinds; ven he goes out mineself, mine vife, ve drinks
some lager bier, and den I dakes de money and counts dem and puts dem in
mine pocket; ven Yawcob come in ve locks de door, and goes de shtairs up
to shleep; vel mine vife and I get to de bed in, so soon as ve can, and
den I shleeps; ven I bin shleep leetle vile mine vife she shakes me and
say, 'Heinrich, de cats dey makes noise in de shtreets so dat I cannot
shleep;' ven I vakes up I hear so much cats squall in de shtreets dat I
dinks dere vas a meetin fon cat politicians. But dey makes so much noise
I cannot vink mine eyes vonce to shleep; so I get up and goes to de
window and say 'shcat,' 'shcat;' but de more I say shcat de more dey
vill not shcat. I say to mine vife, 'Katrina, you bin so younger and so
smaller as I bin, you go down in de shtreets and drives 'vay de cats.'
My vife den goes down, and ven she opens de door de cat squalls not
more, and she looks to see dem, but dere is not cats in de shtreets. Ven
she comes de shtairs up again and say de cats bin gone ve lie on de bed
to shleep; vell, ven I bin yust shleep most, mine Gott! I hear de cats
so lo