airs to my
room. A look into the mirror presented to my view an interesting picture
of my self; not only were my nose and lips swollen, but the gloves which
the nigger had on, being blackened with the stove-blacking, had
communicated the metallic polish to my face and shirt, so that both
were of a beautiful sheet-iron color. I kept my room for ten days; sent
word to the landlady that I had the measles, and requested that nobody
be admitted to my room but the servant who brought me my food, and him I
feed liberally to keep mum. When I got well enough to go out, I loaned
my boxing gloves to a young gentleman, with my mind fully made up that
if he never offered to return them, I shouldn't send a constable after
him, nor ask him for them. I have not indulged in any amusements of the
kind since, and I am glad to announce that I am fully satisfied with my
past experience in the study of the science."

Mr. Boggs's narrative was loudly applauded. He, however, protested
against the civility.

Mr. Van Dam characterized it as a valuable contribution, which called
forth from Mr. Boggs the question, "What the devil he meant by calling
it a contribution; he had no idea of the kind."

The members insisted that, however he might regard it, it certainly was
a valuable contribution to their entertainment, and would grace the
archives of the club.

Mr. Boggs stated that had he entertained the most distant idea he was
doing anything of any value to anybody, he should have never been able
to say a word. If it was a contribution he was glad of it.

The Higholdboy then called upon the other members for their
contributions to science.

Mr. Quackenbush responded, and after drinking some Croton water diluted
with gin, he began:

"Last evening I started out on a cruise, with the view of seeing the
elephant on the streets by gas-light. I saw the identical elephant to be
seen every evening, and with which you are all familiar, and I began to
think about eleven o'clock that I should be compelled to retire to rest
without having seen anything worthy of note. To be sure, I had seen a
fight between a nigger and Irishman, which, after the first round, was
finished by each party running away as fast as his legs could carry him,
thereby tacitly acknowledging that he was beaten; but what was this?
Every one of you have been in fights, and of course it would be
unnatural to suppose that a description of a scrimmage of brief duration
between an Iris