groceries;" and if you
should wish to invest in real estate here, you can do so with the help of
a "guide," which is distributed on the steamer, and tells you of numerous
bargains in corner lots, etc.; for here, as in that part of the West which
lies much farther east, people live apparently only to speculate in real
estate.

An occasional flash of broad humor enlivens some of the land circulars and
advertisements. I found one on the hotel table headed "Homes," with the
following sample:

221 ACRES,

Four miles east of Silverton; frame house and a log house (can
live in either); log barn; 20 acres in cultivation; 60 acres
timber land; balance pasture land; well watered. We will sell
this place for $1575. Will throw in a cook stove and all the
household furniture, consisting of a frying-pan handle and
a broomstick; also a cow and a yearling calf; also one bay
heifer; also 8400 lbs. of hay, minus what the above-named
stock have consumed during the winter; also 64 bushels of
oats, subject to the above-mentioned diminution. If sold,
we shall have left on our hands one of the driest and
ugliest-looking old bachelors this side of the grave, which
we will cheerfully throw in if at all acceptable to the
purchaser. Old maids and rich widows are requested to give
their particular attention to this special offer. Don't pass
by on the other side.

* * * * *

HOME, SWEET HOME!

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like Home!

We still have a few more "Sweet Homes" for sale, consisting
of, etc., etc., etc.

[Illustration: pointing finger] Title perfect--a Warrantee
Deed from the hub of the earth to the top of the skies, and
Uncle Sam's Patent to back us!

A further-reaching title one could scarcely require.

I don't know where I got the belief that the Columbia was a second-rate
river. There must have been some blunder in the geographies out of which I
got my lessons and my notions of the North-west coast at school. Possibly,
too, the knowledge that navigation is interrupted by rapids at the
Cascades and Dalles contributed to form an impression conspicuously wrong.
In fact, the Columbia is one of the great rivers of the world. It seems to
me larger, as it is infinitely grander, than the Mississippi.

Between Astoria and the junction of the Willamette its breadth, its depth,
its rapid current