the Truth with bolts and keys;
The Press, encouraged to report.
_Verbatim_ his soliloquies,
Would have exposed to all men near and wide,
(The Hun included) what was going on inside.

Is it too late to start again?
At this eleventh hour depose
A Council whose united brain
Apparently is comatose?
Replace the Big Four with a Monstrous One,
And hand the whole show over to _The Times_ to run?

O.S.

* * * * *

TO-DAY IN THE FOOD GARDEN.

PEAS.--Have you planted your early peas yet? If not you should do
so at once. Select a piece of well-tilled ground running North and
South. To find the North go out at twelve o'clock and stand facing
the direction you think the sun would be in if it were visible. Turn
smartly about bringing up the left foot on the word "Two." If you
guessed right the first time you will now be facing North. Without
taking your eye off it, drill your peas into the ground in columns of
fours. Don't forget to soak them in prussic acid or any simple poison
(this is done more easily before they are sown) to prevent them being
eaten by mice. A less effective precaution is to sit up all night near
the vegetable garden and miaow.

Here is a good recipe for cooking peas. Shell the peas. Take a piece
of butter as big as a nut, two ducklings, six ounces sage and onions
and three drops of mushroom catsup. Roast together briskly for twenty
minutes. Boil the peas for fifteen minutes. Serve together.

ONIONS.--The big, gentle onions seen in the shops can only be brought
to maturity on very warm sandy soil. Most of them come from Portugal.
How the natives can bear to part with them is a mystery. The small
high-powered onions, on the other hand, are easily cultivated. The
best varieties are Eau de Jazz, Cook's Revenge, Sutton's Saucepan
Corroder and Soho Violet. Sow in rows and beat the soil flat with the
back of a spade. Your neighbour's spade is as good as any other for
this purpose. Goats are said to be very fond of onion tops, but many
people hesitate to keep both.

PARSNIPS.--To get big parsnips plant a single row twenty feet long.
Thin out to ten feet apart. The crop you will get will last you until
the following year. Placed in a quiet corner of the potting-shed and
covered with sand it will last for several years. To get the best out
of parsnips stew them in a _bain-marie_ for eight hours. Remove the
undissolved portion of the parsn