HELPFUL PRESS.

"Summer time commences to-morrow morning at 2 o'clock, and it
will be necessary for people to put their clocks by one hour
before retiring to bed to-night. In Southport the Cambridge
Hall clock, which governs the clocks for the municipal
buildings, will be put one hour at midnight."--_Provincial
Paper_.

* * * * *

"The ---- Society has a large selection of literature tracing
the origin and development of Bolshevism, and exposing its
miseries and horrors, of which samples will be forwarded on
application."--_Times_.

We are not applying; it is bad enough to read about them.

* * * * *

From a General Routine Order:--

"_Shoeing_.--G.R.O. No. ---- /d 23/10/18. With the exception
of Pack and Draught Mules ..., all animals proceeding to
join Units in the forward area must be shot all round without
delay."

That should save the farriers a lot of trouble.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ARMY OF UNOCCUPATION.

FIRST GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE. "I SEE THEY'RE GIVING US ANOTHER SIX
MONTHS' UNEMPLOYMENT PAY. SEEMS ALL RIGHT."

SECOND GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE. "YES. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE INDIGNITY OF
HAVING TO FETCH IT? WHY CAN'T THEY BRING IT TO US?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _War Profiteer_. "AH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL--GOT ME TO THE
LIFE, THAT 'AS. WOTIMEANTERSAY IT _LOOKS_ LIKE MONEY, THAT DOES!"]

* * * * *

ON THE RHINE.

III.

In spite of oft-repeated warnings--in spite of the fact that I
personally explained to each sentry that all he had to remember was
that there were only seven different kinds of military passes, each
one of different colour and all with dates, stamps and signatures,
and that there was no difficulty in recognising its validity if a
pass had the right British official stamp and so long as the signature
underneath was one of the twenty-four people authorised to sign
(a list of which would be kept in every sentry-box and constantly
revised), and if the number of the pass, the name of the person, his
address, destination, habits, hobbies and past life tallied exactly
with the information on his "personal Ausweis," which must be produced
except in the case of a licence to proceed by bicycle, which differed,
of course, in colour, shape, size and other small details (which would