suggested that I should go over
and give him the assistance of my superior intelligence. I replied
that I would be delighted. He then wrote:--

"My dear K----,--I am so pleased that you are willing to come over
to Macedonia and help us. You had better ask War Office for a week's
extension of leave, by which time my application for you will probably
have filtered through. That will save you the trouble of rejoining
your reserve unit."

I thought this an excellent plan and went to the War Office to see
about it.

After the customary wait I was granted a few moments of a Staff
Officer's precious time.

"What do you want?" said the Staff Officer. He seemed used to meeting
people who wanted things, and familiarity had evidently bred contempt.

I humbly explained.

"Have you got a written authority to support your application?" he
asked.

I produced my friend's letter, which was endorsed with the stamp of
his Command Headquarters.

The Staff Officer, standing (not out of politeness, I am sure), read
the letter. Then he looked up, suspicion in his eye and in the cock of
his head.

"I don't understand this," he said. "You told me you wanted to go to
Ireland. This letter distinctly refers to your going to Macedonia."

"Macedonia!" I echoed (I had forgotten my friend's Biblical way of
expressing himself).

"Yes, Macedonia," snapped the Staff Officer. "Balkans, isn't it?
Something to do with Salonika?"

"Macedonia!" I repeated, still mystified.

"Yes, yes--Macedonia," he snapped, obviously suspecting me of trying
to obtain a week's leave on false pretences. "Here it is, in black and
white, 'so pleased that you are willing to come over to Macedonia and
help us.' I don't understand this at all."

He handed me the letter. Then I realised what was amiss. My friend
had not reckoned with the War Office. They call a spade a spade in
Whitehall (unless they refer to it as "shovels, one.")

"Oh," said I, "I see. Yes, Macedonia. Slight misunderstanding. It's
written from Ireland all right. There's the Irish Command stamp on it.
'Come over to Macedonia and help us.' Biblical phrase. St. PAUL, you
know. Just a figure of speech. My friend meant it metaphorically."

"The devil he did," barked the Staff man. "Then why the blazes didn't
he say so?"

Of course, why didn't he say so? Very stupid of him. One can't be too
literal in dealing with the War Office, that notorious fount of clear
and orderly diction.

My plan nearl