nk," remarked John very sceptically. "I went to see
the Advisory Committee two days ago. Perhaps I was rather unfortunate
in arriving at the same time as the English mail; anyhow I came away
with the following information and convictions:--

(1) That the easiest job in civil life is to sit on an Advisory
Committee.

(2) That one is always either too old or too young for the Civil
Services.

(3) That I was a devil of a good fellow and I'd won the War (they
patted me on the back and told me so).

(4) That I was to fill up my A.Z.15 and trust in my stars (not the
things on my sleeve)."

"Well, what about it?" I continued.

"Personally," said John, "I think an advertisement in _The Daily
Telegraph_ is the correct thing. How's this?--

"'Anybody know of a decent war? Two young subs in France, Soldiers of
Fortune (so-called), would like to get in touch with anyone thinking
of starting a first-class war. Send full particulars and rough
strength of enemy to "Warriors," c/o _The Daily Telegraph_.'"

Mine was much more modest:--

"An officer at present in France desires a good job in civil life. No
experience, no education, no languages, no money, no prospects and no
hope. What offers?"

"I don't think they'll bring much," said I. "You know, John, what we
really want is leave."

So we applied for leave.

John asked permission to remove his person to the U.K. for urgent and
private reasons. I stated that I had a position offered me, but an
interview was necessary, and asked their indulgence for the purpose.

John's chit came back three days later. "Will this officer state his
urgent and private reasons, please?"

"Ah!" said John, "enemy attitude hostile." Nevertheless he stated as
required.

Three days later it came back again with the request that this officer
further state his reasons, please.

"Enemy attitude distinctly hostile," said John, and committed himself
further.

Nothing happened for a week and John's hopes ran high. "It must be
through, old man," he declared, "or it would have been back before
now."

But when at the end of the week it came back for further information
his ardour cooled somewhat, and when, three days later, it turned up
once more with a request for his urgent and private reasons, John in
a fit of exasperation retorted that if the matter was kept much longer
it wouldn't be urgent, and if they enquired much further it wouldn't
be private. That finished him, and he got no leave.