ERT?"

_'Erbert_ (_four years in France_). "WELL, MY OLD FAM AIN'T TURNED UP
WITH MY BIT OF DAYJERNY."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Visitor to devastated area_. "JOHN CHINAMAN LIKEE
MUCHEE DLESSEE ALLEE SAMEE ENGLISH SOLDIER."

_Chinese Ganger_. "WELL, SIR, I DON'T CONCERN MYSELF MUCH ABOUT
UNIFORM. ACTUALLY I'M A JOURNALIST AND ONLY CAME OUT HERE FOR THE
EXPERIENCE."]

* * * * *

"General wanted; small family; cook wept; wages
L18-L20."--_Local Paper_.

We confess we should like to know the cause of cook's affliction. Was
it jealousy, or onions?

* * * * *

TO CHLOE, CAUGHT SPRING-CLEANING.

Now wherefore should you be dismayed
And in confusion fall,
Because I spied on you arrayed
In cap and overall,
And saw you for a moment stand
Clenching a duster in your hand?

The morning ardour of your face
Was like a summer rose;
One sooty smudge but seemed to grace
The challenge of your nose;
The gaudy thing that hid your hair
Performed its office with an air.

There is a time for stately tire,
For frills and furbelows,
When dainty humours should inspire
Such vanities as those;
So for stern hours of high intent
Behoves a fit habiliment.

Did not those gallants win our pride
And heroes stand revealed,
Who flung their fineries aside
For fashions of the field?
I, who have known campaigning too,
Salute a kindred soul in you.

* * * * *

THE OVERLAND ROUTE.

"H.M.S. New Zealand, with Admiral Jellicoe on board,
arrived at Bombay on March 14, and left for Delhi on
the 15th."--_Scots Paper_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: COMRADES OF THE WAR.

"STRAFE ME IF IT AIN'T ME OLD 'ORACE! W'Y, I AIN'T SEEN YER SINCE THAT
STUNT RAHND CAMBRAI!"]

* * * * *

GETTING A JOB.

John looked very gloomy.

"_Pourquoi triste_, John?" said I, knowing the language.

"Well, it's like this," said John, "the time has come when you and I
must look for a job."

"That's all right," said I cheerfully. "We'll go and see the Advisory
Committee. They'll put us up to a job in civil life. They're sitting
there bubbling over with advice. Employers in England are simply
falling over one another to find positions for brave young officers
who--"

"Yes, I don't thi