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ERT?" _'Erbert_ (_four years in France_). "WELL, MY OLD FAM AIN'T TURNED UP WITH MY BIT OF DAYJERNY."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Visitor to devastated area_. "JOHN CHINAMAN LIKEE MUCHEE DLESSEE ALLEE SAMEE ENGLISH SOLDIER." _Chinese Ganger_. "WELL, SIR, I DON'T CONCERN MYSELF MUCH ABOUT UNIFORM. ACTUALLY I'M A JOURNALIST AND ONLY CAME OUT HERE FOR THE EXPERIENCE."] * * * * * "General wanted; small family; cook wept; wages L18-L20."--_Local Paper_. We confess we should like to know the cause of cook's affliction. Was it jealousy, or onions? * * * * * TO CHLOE, CAUGHT SPRING-CLEANING. Now wherefore should you be dismayed And in confusion fall, Because I spied on you arrayed In cap and overall, And saw you for a moment stand Clenching a duster in your hand? The morning ardour of your face Was like a summer rose; One sooty smudge but seemed to grace The challenge of your nose; The gaudy thing that hid your hair Performed its office with an air. There is a time for stately tire, For frills and furbelows, When dainty humours should inspire Such vanities as those; So for stern hours of high intent Behoves a fit habiliment. Did not those gallants win our pride And heroes stand revealed, Who flung their fineries aside For fashions of the field? I, who have known campaigning too, Salute a kindred soul in you. * * * * * THE OVERLAND ROUTE. "H.M.S. New Zealand, with Admiral Jellicoe on board, arrived at Bombay on March 14, and left for Delhi on the 15th."--_Scots Paper_. * * * * * [Illustration: COMRADES OF THE WAR. "STRAFE ME IF IT AIN'T ME OLD 'ORACE! W'Y, I AIN'T SEEN YER SINCE THAT STUNT RAHND CAMBRAI!"] * * * * * GETTING A JOB. John looked very gloomy. "_Pourquoi triste_, John?" said I, knowing the language. "Well, it's like this," said John, "the time has come when you and I must look for a job." "That's all right," said I cheerfully. "We'll go and see the Advisory Committee. They'll put us up to a job in civil life. They're sitting there bubbling over with advice. Employers in England are simply falling over one another to find positions for brave young officers who--" "Yes, I don't thi
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