arters that, in order
to save time, the Commission to fix the responsibility for the Peace
should begin to sit at once.

***

It is not known definitely how many ex-munition workers in this
country are at present in Government unemployment.

***

In connection with the recent report that the Sittinghurst Vermin Club
had killed 1,175 mice in one day, we are asked to say that the number
should be 1,176. It appears that one mouse made its way in a state of
collapse to the Club headquarters and gave itself up.

***

From the newspapers we gather that a sample of water analysed by the
Essex County Analyst contained seven per cent. of milk.

***

A man charged with burglary in Hoxton Street was captured in a
meat-storage ice-house. It is said that, remembering a well-known
precedent, he tried to evade capture by making a noise like a frozen
Canterbury lamb.

***

Sir SAMUEL SCOTT says that the odds are that a quack will kill
you quicker than a qualified doctor. All the same we prefer the
slow-and-sure method.

***

According to the Bishop of MANCHESTER there is a shortage of curates.
A spinster writes to say that she is not surprised, considering how
quickly they get snapped up.

***

With reference to the burglar who made off with the jewels of ex-Queen
AMELIE, it is said that the fellow contemplates in future styling
himself on his visiting-cards as "Housebreaker to the ex-Queen of
Portugal."

***

A weekly paper states that if every soldier who served in France
during the War would place all the letters he had received in a line
they would reach a little more than once round the world. We hear,
however, that, as the present addresses of several demobilised men
are unknown, the feat will not be attempted.

***

"Between ten and fifteen thousand years ago," says Professor KEITH,
"Scotland became fit for habitation." We ourselves should not have
assigned so remote a date to the introduction of whisky into that
country.

***

"There is no place like home," says a gossip-writer. This seems to
indicate that spring cleaning has started at his residence.

***

"It isn't every year we celebrate peace," says a correspondent in a
weekly paper. The usual custom, of course, is to celebrate peace about
once every war.

***

"A Pretty Way to Pat Butter" is the heading of one of a contemporary's
"Household Hints." The