rolls on.
Lion-kings die, and the Sword-swallower's gone
The way of all such horrors, slowly slain
By efforts to please curious brutes, for gain.
What next, and next? Stretch some one on the rack
And let him suffer publicly. 'Twill pack
The show with prurient pryers, and draw out
The ready shillings from the rabble rout
Of well-dressed quidnuncs, frivolous and fickle
Who'll pay for aught that their dull sense will tickle.
Look on, crass crowd; your money freely give
To see Sensation's victims die to live;
For Science knows, and says beneath her breath,
That this "Fast Life" (like other sorts) means Death!

* * * * *

RESOLUTIONS FOR THE COSMOPOLITAN LABOUR MEETING.

(_Compiled with due regard to the International Idiosyncrasies._)

_French._--That France contains the World, and Paris France.

_Belgium._--That on the whole, the Slave Trade should be discouraged, as
it cannot be made to yield more than a safe 7 per cent.

_Germany._--That the best way of showing love for the Fatherland is to
live in every other part of the universe.

_Spain._--That it will be for the benefit of mankind to exterminate the
Portuguese.

_Portugal._--That the interests of civilisation will be advanced by the
annihilation of the Spanish.

_Russian._--That dynamite literally raises not only the mansions of the
nobles, but betters the homes of those who have been serfs.

_British._--That the equality of man is proved by the fact that one
Englishman is worth a dozen foreigners.

_American._--That everybody (except citizens of the U.S.A.) pay half a
dollar to the Treasurer right off the reel slick away, and that the sum
so collected be equally divided amongst those present.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

SOCIAL.

"_Yes; it is a sovereign you owe me--but any time will do_;" _i.e._, "If
he has the least spark of honour he'll pay me now."

"_Never saw you looking better! Magnificent colour!_" _i.e._, "Evidently
ripening for apoplectic fit."

"_Pray bring your friend_;" _i.e._, "Doesn't he know how overcrowded my
rooms are already?"

"_To be perfectly candid_;" _i.e._, "Not sorry to rub it in."

JOURNALISTIC.

"_As yet nothing has transpired_;" _i.e._, The reporter was too late to
obtain any information.

"_Detective Inspector Muggins is actively pursuing his inquiries_;"
_i.e._, Reporter thinks it as well to keep in