the Official Receiver and be broke.

A School Board is soon parted from its money.

Give a dog a muzzle and you needn't chain him.

* * * * *

"NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE ROOSE'D TO IT,"--We've heard plenty about _diner a
la Roose_, and the _Here and There and Everywhere and Fare of London
Life_, but now we are to have _Fasting a la Roose_. Vide article in May
number of _New Review_ on Fasting, by Dr. ROBINSON CRUSOE,--beg
pardon,--should have said Dr. ROBSON ROOSE O. Article not variation on
ROOSE O'S Dream, but thoroughly practical.

* * * * *

WEEK BY WEEK.

_Wednesday, April 30._--_Mr. Punch_ rises early and appears everywhere.
Whole holiday. General rejoicings. Grand Banquet in the evening as
usual. Private Reception of Mr. STANLEY, I presume. No one admitted
without orders--on his uniform. Great reception of Mr. H. M. STANLEY by
his Hairdresser.

_Thursday, May 1._--Headaches. Chimney Sweeper's Day. Sootable occasion
for Sweeping Reform Meetings everywhere. N. B.--Edinburgh Exhibition.
Scots wha' hae. Reception of Mr. H. M. STANLEY by the eminent Explorer's
tailor, bootmaker, and hosier.

_Friday, May 2._--Strictly Private View of the Pictures at Burlington
House. Admissions limited to not more than 100,000 patrons of Art. Quiet
day. Everybody preparing speech for the Academy Banquet to-morrow.
Deputation to Mr. H. M. STANLEY from Aquarium, to ask if he will take
SUCCI'S place.

_Saturday._--Great Cooking Match at the Cafe Royal, Lunch Time, Trial
Steaks. Opening of the front door by Mr. H. M. STANLEY. Snug little
dinner at Burlington House. Sir FREDERICK, P. R. A., in the chair.
Musical entertainment by Mr. WHISTLER. Fireworks by Mr. H-RRY F-RN-SS.

_Sunday.--Dies Non._ No Day!! Curious effect. Gas lighted everywhere.
Private Banquet to Mr. STANLEY, who discovers the sauce of the lobster,
and takes it with his salmon. Rejoicings.

_Monday._--Ceremony of changing sentinels at Buckingham Palace. Every
sentinel very much changed after the operation. Opening of a New Book by
Mr. H. M. STANLEY. Mrs. SNOOKS'S first dance, if she has learnt it in
time for to-night.

_Tuesday._--Preparations for to-morrow. The Platelayers' annual
festival, ROBERT, the Waiter, in the chair. Reception by Mr. H. M.
STANLEY, of a parcel from his tailor's. Usual banquets, dances, races,
excursions, alarums.

_Wednesday._--_Mr. Punch_ comes out stronger than ever. Congra