with MUGGINS, who may be
useful in future.

EPISTOLATORY.

"_In great haste_;" _i.e._, "Must make some excuse for scrappiness."

"_We were all so shocked at hearing of your sad bereavement_;" _i.e._,
"None of us knew her but myself, and _I_ thought her a Cat!"

AT A DANCE.

"_Let me get you a partner, Mr.--'er--'er Smith_;" _i.e._, "He'll do for
dowdy Miss JONES, who has only danced once the whole night."

"_Shall we take a turn round now?_" _i.e._, "She can't waltz any more
than a crane, and parading is better than hopping."

"_Not dancing to-night, Mr. Sprawle? Now, that's very naughty of you,
with so many nice girls here_;" _i.e._, "What an escape for the nice
girls!"

A LITTLE MUSIC.

"_I_ hope _you brought your Music with you, dear_;" _i.e._, "If _only_
she had left it in the cab!"

"_I would with pleasure, but I've such a shocking cold that really,
&c._;" _i.e._, "I want a little more pressing, and then I'll come out
strong, and astonish them, I fancy."

"_Oh do! We have been looking forward to your Banjo-solo all the
evening_;" _i.e._, "With horror!"

CURIOMANIA, ETC.

"_How delightful it must be to have such a hobby!_" _i.e._, "Thank
heavens, I am not so afflicted!"

"_It must have cost you a heap of money_;" _i.e._, "How he's been
'done'!"

"_What a wonderful collection of pictures you have here!_" _i.e._, "Must
say something. Wouldn't give ten pounds for the lot."

RAILROAD AMENITIES.

"_So glad you got into the same carriage. A little of your conversation
so lightens a long journey_;" _i.e._, "He'll talk my head off, and
render a nap impossible."

"_Would you like to look at the papers?_" _i.e._, "May keep her tongue
still for a few minutes."

* * * * *

The Busy "B."

[Mr. BANCROFT has just settled one theatrical difference, and now he
is engaged on a "far more delicate matter"; i.e., a dispute between
a Manager and an Actor.]

How doth the little busy "B"
Employ each leisure hour?

By arbitrating all the day
With great dramatic power.

* * * * *

EXTREMES MEET.--"_The Darkies' Africa_" is an Eastern entertainment at
Weston's Music Hall.

* * * * *

Couldn't Slander and Libel causes be appropriately heard in Sir JAMES
HANNEN'S Admiralty Court, as "Running Down Cases?"

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CHEAP FARES.

_Pass