assisted by _Mr. Weller's_ "pair o' patent double million magnifyin'
gas microscopes of hextra power." But why, for the hundredth time we ask,
and every equestrian asks as well, why aren't rides made across Kensington
Gardens from Princes' Gate to Bayswater? Beautiful rides they would be
under the trees, and thus varying the wearisome monotony of the round and
round squirrel-in-a-cage sort of routine exercise, to which the Rotten-Row
Riders are purgatorially bound. Also, why not a ride right across Hyde Park
from the Achilles Statue to an exit facing about Albion Street, Bayswater?
What difficulties can there be which a First Commissioner of Works
representing an actively Liberal and Progressive policy could not carry out
for the benefit of the Mounted Liver Brigade and the Light Cavalry?

* * * * *

Old Father Thames is still rather dirty. We often hear of "The Thames
Basin." Why doesn't Father Thames use it,--with soap? What a chance here
for a P**rs' advertisement.

* * * * *

[Illustration: FROM THE EMERALD ISLE.

"JUST MAKE IT A COUPLE OF SHILLINGS, CAPTAIN DEAR!"--"NO!" "EIGHTEENPENCE
THEN, MAJOR!"--"NO!"

"OCH THIN, COLONEL DARLING, JUST THREPPENCE FOR A GLASS O'
WHISKEY!"--"_NO_, I TELL YOU!"

"GIT OUT WID YE THIN, YE BOA CONSHTHRUCTOR, SURE AN' I KNOW'D YE ALL THE
TOIME!"

[_N.B._--_The Fare is the Head of an eminent Firm of Furriers in
Kilconan Street, and cultivates a martial appearance._]

* * * * *

A BIG LION AMONG THE LITTLE 'UNS.

"Daniel in the Lions' Den" will occur to many on reading how HENRY IRVING
ventured into and actually dined as the distinguished guest of a society
styling itself "The Playgoers' Club." But after all, whether these were
real leonine cubs, or only "lions stuffed with straw," the Real Lion of the
evening was the Daniel come to Judgment, HENRY IRVING, who, having partaken
of the "chicken and champagne," and acknowledged the goodness thereof, gave
them the less smooth side of his own tongue with charming frankness.

"I do not hesitate to tell you," purred the Lion, sweetly, "that there have
been times when the genius of frankness which possesses the Club"--he did
not allude to the existence among them of any other sort of genius--"has
not appeared to be allied with the finest discrimination. (_Laughter._)"

Yes--the poor little Lions laughed--it was all they could do