Lord DUFFERIN took occasion to refer trenchantly, but temperately, to
the long series of calumnies lately directed against him by certain
sections of the French Press.]

Yes, DUFFERIN, yes, the Reptile Press
Is not confined to realms Teutonic.
You squelch it--could you well do less?--
With an urbanity fine, ironic.
France is too chivalrous, too polite,
To back these crawlers, venomous, "varment"!--
But our Ambassador does quite right
To--brush them lightly from his garment.

* * * * *

A "Plucky" Answer.

_Q._ Who was PROCRUSTES? What was the Bed of PROCRUSTES?

_A._ He was an ancient philosopher who never would get up in the morning.
Hence the word for a person who puts off or delays; viz., "One who
Procrustinates."

* * * * *

THE WHITTINGTON RECORD BROKEN.--"Mr. HURST," _The Athenaeum_ gossip informs
us, "has been four times Mayor of Bedford." He ought to be perfect in the
part, for certainly it has been well _re-hearsed_.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, February 13._--House filled from floor to
topmost range of gallery. Terrible rumour that it is also peopled
underneath. Members sitting on two front benches evidently restless through
opening passages of Mr. G.'s speech. Weird whispering heard, apparently
rising from boots of FIRST LORD of the TREASURY. GRANDOLPH pricks up his
ears; fancies he recognises voice familiar in Harley Street. First thought,
whispered commentary must come from Ladies' Gallery. Right Hon. Gentlemen
look up, and conclude it is too remote. Besides, Ladies _never_ talk in the
Gallery.

"Moreover than which," said FERGUSSON, staring stolidly at open network of
iron floor, "it comes from quite different quarter."

[Illustration: GENTLEMEN OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS TAKING THEIR SEATS,
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1893.]

Even Mr. G., absorbed as he was with great topic, evidently noticed the odd
state of things, for towards end of magnificent speech he dropped his voice
right down through the grating into the chamber below, so that Strangers in
distant Gallery lost the purport of his words. Above-board--or rather above
iron grating--House presented spectacle worthy of occasion. Last time
anything like it seen was in April, 1886, when first Home-Rule Bill
introduced. Singularly like it this