eboren_ as of yore
Was King COPHETUA?

To wed a lot of girls _sans dot_
Is strange, and yet you are
No more afraid of beggar maid
Than King COPHETUA.

But if you break the vow you take,
And dowries get, you are
A thousand pound to forfeit bound,
Which beats COPHETUA.

So you by stealth can't marry wealth,
Not if in debt you are;
But, as we see, resemble the
Late King COPHETUA.

O men elsewhere, Mammas declare
How hard to net you are!
You can't be led poor girls to wed
Like King COPHETUA.

Consider, then, these noble men,
And you'll regret you are
Unmarried still, and quickly will
Do like COPHETUA!

* * * * *

PUT A STOP TO IT!--A Correspondent, signing himself "O'NOODLE," asks, "What
does this mean? See Cook's _Guide-Book to Paris_, page 23:--'Visitors
should take the precautions against pickpockets recommended by the
Administration.'" A comma or a dash after "precautions," and another after
"pickpockets," or put pickpockets into brackets--handcuff 'em, in fact--and
then O'NOODLE will get at the sense of the paragraph.

* * * * *

A DOLE-FUL PROSPECT.

_Easter._--Wonder what the effect of the BISHOP'S appeal to the "loyal
laity," to come down heavily with Easter Offerings to the Clergy, will be?
Rather an exciting day for me. Hard-up is not the word for my condition at
present. Can't keep myself, and have to keep a Gardener and a Curate!

A lot of cast-off clothes arrive from "A SYMPATHETIC PARISHIONER!" How
degrading! Wish BISHOP OF WORCESTER hadn't said that he knew a Clergyman
who stayed in bed because he had no decent clothes to wear. Congregation
seem to think he meant _me_! Two blankets, and a rig-out of "Cellular
under-clothing," from "CHURCH DEFENCE," addressed to "Our Beloved but
Impoverished Incumbent." Quite insulting! Give blankets to Gardener, and
send the Cellular things to Curate, as his tendencies are distinctly
monastic.

Letter from a Newmarket Bookmaker! Says he hears I'm in want of Easter
Offerings, so he offers to "put me on to a good thing for the Derby." I am,
apparently, to forward him a L5 note, and he returns me L50 "without fail."
Tempting, but haven't got a L5 note to send.

Arrival at my quiet Vicarage of a donkey, a cow, two pigs, and a dozen
barndoor fowls! Perhaps, in honour of the pigs, I might call this a "sow
Easter!" The whole menagerie