r he had
slaughtered most of his wives, plundered all the monasteries, and
imprisoned or executed many of his subjects, what would you call him?

_A._ Without hesitation I should refer to him as "an excited politician."

* * * * *

"CONTINUOUS-SOUNDING MACHINES."--Lots of 'em on view in the House of
Commons. But, for the genuine article, consult a "Colomb" of the _Times_.

* * * * *

"I love those cradle-songs," said Mrs. R. "The other day I heard--I forget
who it was--sing a most charming _alibi_."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A LULLABY.

NURSE G. (_sings_). "'O HUSH THEE, MY BABY,
TAKE REST WHILE YOU MAY'"----

(_To himself._) "AND NOW I MUST GO AND LOOK AFTER THE OTHERS!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration]

TO SERAPHINE.

Through happy years, that number now I ween
A dozen, or--to be correct--thirteen,
My comfortable better-half you've been,
O SERAPHINE!

The ups and downs of life we two have seen--
From Camberwell, of stucco-fronted mien,
To quaintly-decorated Turnham Green,
O SERAPHINE!

Till Grandma's money came with golden sheen,
You lent a hand at SARAH'S weekly clean,
And did not tilt your nose at margarine,
O SERAPHINE!

And now that I've been made a Rural Dean,
Your figure is no longer slim, my Queen;
You'd scarcely make a graceful _ballerine_,
O SERAPHINE!

But after dinner as you doze each e'en,
From your disjointed mutterings I glean
Your mind is running on a crinoline,
O SERAPHINE!

Oh, let me not appear to speak with spleen--
Yet pause!--nor go to Madame ANTONINE
To get yourself a--_you know what I mean_,
O SERAPHINE!

For if that huge and hideous machine
Should thrust its bilious bulginess between
A blameless couple, such as we have been,
My SERAPHINE,

I will not condescend to make a "scene,"
But--if you needs _must_ have your crinoline--
Good-bye!--you cannot have your Rural Dean,
O SERAPHINE!

* * * * *

DER COPHETUALISCHEHOCHZEITVEREIN.

["In Vienna a Club has been formed among young men of fashion for the
encouragement of marriage with poor girls."--_James Payn, in
"Illustrated News."_]

O youth of Wien, what does this mean?
Can you forget you are
All _hochg