me freedom dazzles in vain;
Ah! give me my lowly front-bench seat again.
The cheers, sounding sweetly, that come at my call,
Give me these, and old pals of mine, dearer than all.
Home! Ho-ome!
Sweet, sweet home!
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home!

(_Extra or encore verses on his own account._)

The first seat was mine, but I forfeited _that_;
Will they welcome the waif, kill the calf that is fat?
Will dear ARTHUR rejoice to receive his lost chief?
Will the Wanderer's return bring regret, or relief?
Home! Ho-ome!
Sweet, sweet home!
Be it ever so humble (_winks_) there's no place like home!

So _humble_! Oh yes! So seemed David, no doubt,
Till he struck at GOLIATH and put him to rout.
My giant--his name, too, begins with a G--
Braves the whole of our hosts. I--no matter--_we_'ll see.
Home! Ho-ome!
Sweet, sweet home!
Be it ever so humble (_grins_), there's no place like home!

* * * * *

TREATS FOR TOMMY.--"What shall I do to amuse our little boy, aged fourteen,
when he returns home for Easter Vacation?" Why, certainly improve his mind.
Procure for him a free admission to the Geological Society, and let him
hear a paper on "Anthracite and Bituminous Coal-beds," likewise on
"Inclusions of Tertiary Granite." Take him to the Linnean Society, and
treat him to a lecture "On the Differentiation of the Protozoan Body
Microscopically Sectionised." Another evening may be given to "Mosses and
Sphagnums," not to be confounded with "Moses and Magnums." After this
little course, he may write to say that during the next vacation he would
prefer remaining at school.

* * * * *

"I can't drink Champagne," quoth General BOOZER; "it gives me a red nose."
"No, it won't," replied his medical adviser; "that is, not if you drink
Pommery and _Grey-nose_."

* * * * *

THE MAN FROM BLANKLEY'S.

A STORY IN SCENES.

SCENE VIII.--_In the Drawing-room--Time, about 10._ Mrs. BODFISH _and_
Mrs. DITCHWATER _are talking in confidential undertones on a settee_.
Miss BUGLE'S _anxiety concerning her invalid Cockatoo has already
obliged her to depart_. Mrs. GILWATTLE _is lecturing her Niece on a
couch by the fire, while little_ GWENDOLEN _is in a corner with a
Picture-book_.

_Mrs. Bodfish_ (_in a wheezy whisper_).