sionnaire_. Ten Minutes, Sir.

_The C.M._ Only ten minutes, eh? But, look here, how do I know
there'll be anything going on while I'm _in_ there?

_Comm._ You'll find out that from the instruments, Sir.

_The C.M._ Ah, I daresay--but what _I_ mean is, suppose there's
nothing _to hear_--between the Acts and all that?

_Comm._ Comp'ny guarantees there's a performance on while you're in
the room, Sir.

[Illustration: "How very distinctly you hear the dialogue, Sir, don't
you?"]

_The C.M._ Yes, but all these other people waiting to get in--How'm I
to know I shall get a _place_?

_Comm._ (_outraged_). Look 'ere, Sir, we're the National Telephone
Comp'ny with a reputation to lose, and if you've any ideer we want to
swindle you, all I can tell _you_ is--stop outside!

_The C.M._ (_suddenly subdued_). Oh--er--all right, thought I'd make
sure _first_, you know. Sixpence, isn't it?

[_He passes into the enclosure, and joins the crowd._

_A Comic Man_ (_in an undertone to his Fiancee_). That's a careful
bloke, that is. Know the _value_ o' money, _he_ does. It'll have to
be a precious scientific sort o' telephone that takes _'im_ in. He'll
'ave _his_ six-pennorth, if it bursts the machine! Hullo, they're
letting us in now.

[_The door is slightly opened from within, causing an
expectant movement in crowd--the door is closed again._

_A Superior Young Lady_ (_to her Admirer_). I just caught a glimpse
of the people inside. They were all sitting holding things like
opera-glasses up to their ears--they did look so ridiculous!

_Her Admirer_. Well, it's about time they gave _us_ a chance of
looking ridiculous, their ten minutes must be up now. I've been trying
to think what this put me in mind of. _I_ know. Waiting outside the
Pit doors! doesn't it you?

_The Sup. Y.L._ (_languidly, for the benefit of the bystanders_). Do
they make you wait like this for the Pit?

_Her Admirer_. _Do they make you wait!_ Why, weren't you and I
three-quarters of an hour getting into the Adelphi the other evening?

_The Sup. Y.L._ (_annoyed with him_). I don't see any necessity to
bawl it out like that if we _were_.

[_The discreetly curtained windows are thrown back, revealing
persons inside reluctantly tearing themselves away from their
telephones. As the door opens, there is a frantic rush to get
places._

_An Attendant_ (_soothingly_). Don't crush, Ladies and
Gentlemen--plenty of room for all. Take y