ir, don't you?

[_The Irritable Person, without removing the tubes, turns
and glares at him savagely, without producing the slightest
impression._

_Another Ghostly Voice_ (_very audibly_). The devil you are!

_A Careful Mother_. MINNIE, put them down at _once_, do you hear? I
can't have you listening to such language.

_Minnie_. Why, it's only at Manchester, Mother!

_Ghostly Voices and Sounds_ (_as they reach the Irritable Person_).
"You cursed scoundrel! So it was _you_ who burstled the billiboom, was
it? Stand back, there, I'll hork every gordle in his--!" (_... Sounds
of a scuffle ... A loud female scream, and firing ..._) "What have you
done?"

_The Ch. O.G._ Have you any sort of idea what he _has_ done, Sir?

[_To the Irritable Person._

_The Irr. P._ No, Sir, and I'm not likely to have as long as--

[_He listens with fierce determination._

_First Ghostly Voice_. Stop! Hear me--I can explain everything!

_Second Do. Do._ I will hear _nothing_, I tell you!

_First Do. Do._ You shall--you _must_! Listen. I am the only surviving
mumble of your unshle groolier.

_The Ch. O.G._ (_as before_). I think it must be a Melodrama and not
an Opera after all--from the language!

_An Innocent Matron_ (_who is listening, with her eyes devoutly fixed
on the Libretto of "The Mountebanks," under the firm conviction that
she is in direct communication with the Lyric Theatre._) I always
understood _The Mountebanks_ was a _musical_ piece, my dear, didn't
you? and even as it is, they don't seem to keep very close to the
words, as far as I can follow!

_Ghostly Voices_ (_in the Irritable Person's ear as before_). "Your
_wife_?" "Yes, my wife, and the only woman in the world I ever loved!"

_The Irr. P._ (_pleased, to himself._) Come, now I'm getting
accustomed to it, I can hear capitally!

_The Voices_. Then why have you--?...I will tell you all. Twenty-five
years ago, when a shinder foodle in the Borjeezlers I--

_A Still Small Voice_ (_in everybody's ear_). TIME, PLEASE.

_Everybody_ (_dropping the tubes, startled._) Where did _that_ come
from?

_The Com. M._ They've been and cut it off at the main--just when it
was getting interesting!

_His Fiancee_. Well, I can't say I made out much of the plot myself.

_The Com. M._ I made out enough to cover a sixpence, anyhow. You
didn't expect the telephone to explain it all to you goin' along, and
give you cawfee between the Acts, did you?

_T