lot of trouble in getting the gold beads. There is only one place
where you can get them. They don't sell them at the Stores.

_Second Mem. of the Pub._ (_in a loud tone of voice_). Again I ask you
when the Mail leaves for India?

_Second Emp._ And yet you can get almost anything you want there. Only
it's a terrible nuisance going from one place to another.

_Second Mem. of the Pub._ (_in a voice of thunder_). Silence! You are
an impudent set! You are calculated to injure the class to whom you
belong! I am ashamed of you!

_First Emp._ And who may you be?

_Second Mem. of the Pub._ Whom may I be? I will tell you! (_Throws off
his disguise_.) I am the Postmaster-General!!!

[_Scene closes in upon a tableau suggestive of astonishment,
contrition and excitement._

* * * * *

ITS LATEST APPLICATION.--Chorus for Royal Academicians, for Monday
next:--"Ta-R.A.-R.A.-Boom-to-day!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: HISTORY EXAMS.

(_Effects on Education of Modern Advertising._)

"WHO WAS BORN IN CORSICA?" (_Silence._) "TRY AND THINK--AND DIED IN
ST. HELENA?"

"OH, OF COURSE--I KNOW! THE GREAT SAPOLIO!"]

* * * * *

TO THE NEW "QUEEN OF THE MAY".

(A HYMN OF HONEST LABOUR.)

_After the Proclamation of the Anarchist Manifestoes, (With Apologies
to the Author of the magnificent "Hymn to Proserpine.")_

["For the third time the International mobilises its
battalions.... Already the mere mention of the magical word
'May-Day' throws the _bourgeoisie_ into a state of nervous
trembling, and its cowardice only finds refuge in cynicism and
ferocity. But whether the wretch (the _bourgeoisie_) likes
it or not, the end draws nigh. Capitalist robbery is going
to perish in mud and shame.... The conscious proletariat
organises itself, and marches towards its emancipation.
You can have it all your own way presently; proletarians
of the whole world, serfs of the factory, the men of the
workshop, the office, and the shop, who are mercilessly
exploited and pitilessly assassinated.... For, lo! '93
reappears on the horizon.... 'Vive l'Internationale
des Travailleurs!'"--_Manifesto of the May-Day Labour
Demonstration Executive Committee_.]

Have we lived long enough to have seen one thing, that hate hath
no end?
Goddess, and maiden, and queen, must we hail _yo