e-a:
Punctilious fools prefer to _pay_;
But I at scruples smile-a.

... Ha, ha! what a fool Honesty is! and Trust, his sworn brother, a
very simple gentleman ... I understand the business, do it; to have an
open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand with the shears is necessary
for a (literary) cutpurse; a good nose is requisite also, to smell out
the good work of other people. I see this is the time that the unjust
man doth thrive.

* * * * *

THE WELLINGTON MONUMENT.

[Illustration]

At last! How long ago the time
When England's paltry meanness killed
Her greatest Sculptor in his prime.
And hid his work, now called sublime,
In narrow space so nearly filled!

When, using Art beyond her taste,
Her greatest Captain's tomb he wrought,
That noblest effort was disgraced,--
It seemed to her a needless waste,
The Budget Surplus was her thought.

Now may she, with some sense of shame,
Amend the errors of the past,
Show honour to the Great Duke's name,
Repair the wrong to STEPHENS' fame,
And move the Monument at last!

* * * * *

"KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS."

It is believed that the Rossendale Union of Liberal Clubs, having
given a pair of slippers, a rug, and two pieces of cretonne to Mr.
GLADSTONE, will also make the following presents, in due course:--

_Sir W. L-ws-n._--Twelve dozen Tea-cosies, and ten yards of blue
Ribbon.

_Mr. L-b-ch-re._--A Jester's cap.

_Sir W.V. H-rc-rt._--A Spencer, without arms, but emblazoned with
those of the Plantagenets.

_Mr. M-cl-re._--A Hood.

_Mr. McN-ll._--A knitted Respirator, to be worn in the House.

_Lord R. Ch-rch-ll._--Twelve dozen table-cloths, twenty-four dozen
Dinner-napkins, and thirty-six dozen Pudding-cloths.

_Sir E. Cl-rke._--A scarlet Jersey, inscribed "Salvation Army."

_Mr. R. Sp-nc-r._--A Smock Frock.

_Mr. B-lf-r._--Some Collars of Irish linen, and one of hemp, the
latter to be supplied by the Irish patriots in America.

_Mr. E. St-nh-pe._--A Necktie of green poplin, embroidered with
shamrocks.

_Mr. M. H-ly._--An Ulster.

_Col. S-nd-rs-n._--A Cork jacket.

_Mr. W. O'Br-n._--A pair of Tr----rs, in fancy cretonne.

_Sir G.O. Tr-v-ly-n._--A Coat (reversible).

_Mr. C. C-nyb-re._--A Waistcoat (strait).

* * * * *

[Illustration: "UNDERSTOOD."

"I SAY, DUBOIS, YOU _DO_ KNOW HOW TO LAY IT O