is full and your
passengers in a hurry to go by the train, you may all be pulled up while
SIR RICHARD turns over the cushions, and sees if you've got any broken
windows in your 'bus, or any broken winder drawin' of it. Of course
nothin' will be good enough, unless we have velvet hottermans to keep
the insides warm, and downy cushions for the outsides, as if we wasn't
downy enough already. As to the horses, I don't know where we are to get
'em good enough. Praps they'll expect us to buy all the Derby winners
and them sort of cattle to do our opposition work with. But I suppose
there'll be a grant of money next year from the public purse, for
private speckelation won't make it pay anyhow.

3. Purwides that, if we don't keep hansom private carriages for the
public, and first-rate cattle to draw four on 'em about at
three-halfpence a mile a-piece, we are to be fined three pounds a day,
and go to prison a month for every day; so that, if we've done it for a
whole year, we may be fined upards of a thousand pound, and be locked up
for about five-and-thirty years. Consekwently three years would give us
a hundred and five years imprisonment.

4. This takes all the crummy part of the bread out of our mouths by
reducing our fares to sixpence a mile, which it used to be eightpence,
which meant a shilling. Never mind! We'll get it out of 'em somehow, for
we may charge twopence a package for luggage that won't go inside the
cab; and we'll take care nothin' shall go in, for we'll have the doors
so narrow that we can't be made to open our doors to imposition.

5. By this they compel us to have the fares painted up, and to carry a
book of fares. What right have we to turn our cabs into a library or
bookcase? When we make a mistake about a fare they always tell us we
"ought to know the law." Why ought we to know it better than them as
hires us? Let them carry books themselves. We've got enough to do to
carry them.

6. In case of disputes the Police is to have it all their own way, for
what they says is law, and what we says is nothin'.

7, 8, and 9. Compel us to go with anybody anywhere; give him a ticket
with our number on--as if he couldn't use his eyes--and carry as many as
our license says--though, sometimes, one fat rider would make three; so
that if we get four such customers we shall as good as carry a dozen.

10. This is the unkindest cut of all, for it says we shall carry a
"reasonable quantity of luggage." Why, with the w