rn?
Return! alas! my Cabman bold, what shall the public do,
When rain is falling everywhere, wetting the public through?
I'll stand me up beneath an arch, and pause and sadly think--
'Twas at the beer-shop opposite, the Cabmen used to drink.

THE CABMEN USED TO DRINK! Away--my fevered dream is o'er;
I could not live a day and know cabs were to be no more.
They've cut thee down, exacting one; but legal power is strong:
You tempted us, my insolent! you kept it up too long.
Who said that I had given thee up? Who said that thou wert sold?
'Tis false! 'tis false! Thou'rt better off, my Cabman, thou art told.
Thus, thus, I leap into thy cab, to ride five miles from town,
And when at Acton I alight, I'll pay thee half-a-crown.

* * * * *

[Illustration: NATURAL HISTORY OF CHOBHAM.]

* * * * *

AN APPROPRIATE AMENDMENT.

Seeing how extremely difficult it is to get a complaint listened to at
almost any post-office, we think the old simile "As deaf as a Post"
might very suitably be altered into "As deaf as a Post-Master."

* * * * *

[Illustration: BEFORE

"Vell, Summons me! I ain't a going to take Sixpence! You call yourself a
Gentleman, I s'pose?"

AND AFTER.

"O! Don't Summons me, Sir! Consider my poor wife and children, there's a
kind Gentleman."]

* * * * *

THE GREAT CHOBHAM CAMPAIGN.

[Illustration: W]

We learn with pleasure that the gallant fellows assembled under canvas
at Chobham have proved that they can not only stand fire, but they can
stand water with astonishing bravery. No soldiers have ever gone so far
"into the bowels of the land" as these highlowed heroes, who have
stamped the imprint of their military heels on the mud of Chobham. Never
were laurels so thoroughly watered as the laurels worn at Chobham, by
what Cockneyism would call indiscriminately the veterans and the
wetter-uns of our encamped soldiery. If any man lately under canvas has
had a stain to get rid of, we may be sure that it has been thoroughly
washed out by the showers with which he has been saturated. The only
wonder is that the gallant fellows have not been all washed away by a
mode of "hero wash-up" that would have been indeed deplorable.

* * * * *

THE LAST OF THE PAUPERS.

A pauper is generally imagined by foreigners to be a lantern-jawed,