owl in your place.--J.S."

* * * * *

MORNINGTON'S CHALLENGE.

(_Which was an Attempt to stir up a Noble Lord with a Long Pole._)

Hail, MORNINGTON--what! venerable Peer,
Dost thou again before the Public show?
Gone to the deuce we thought thee, many a year,
As BYRON has it, "diddled," long ago.

Thus reascending on our modern stage,
As through a "trap," thou mak'st us boys again;
The ardent spirit of thy reverend age,
Of GEORGE THE FOURTH revives the splendid reign.

For well do we remember how thy fame
Accustomed was our fathers to amuse:
And what a by-word was thy complex name,
Then daily ventilated in the news.

Then ventilated:--was not that enough
That name's purification to complete?
Think'st thou that it required the sulph'rous puff
Of gunpowder, to make it wholly sweet?

Would'st thou eat fire--the fire of other days?
And SHAFTESBURY to that repast invite?
Knowing thou might'st as well propose to blaze
At any bishop, or at MR. BRIGHT.

Pah! there's a tune which, in the festive hop,
Will cause me evermore to think of thee;
"Pop goes the Weasel"--thou would'st, too, go pop;
Pop goes the WELLESLEY, let it henceforth be.

* * * * *

DIGESTIVE APPARATUS.

The best "grubber" obtained a prize at the late agricultural gathering
at Gloucester: but we are not informed whether the successful competitor
was a citizen, who emptied a tureen of turtle, or a ploughman, who
devoured "a leg of mutton and trimmings." In such a contest Town would
be likely to beat Country; at least if the grubbing-match were open to
the Corporation of London.

* * * * *

RESULTS OF A WAR.

In the event of Austria and Russia joining in an European war, it is not
too much to suppose that Hungary, Lombardy, and Poland, will all become
members of the "EARLY RISING Association."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CAMP. _Juvenile (apropos of Highlander in sentry
box)._ "OH, MY WIG, CHARLEY. WHAT A JOLLY JACK-IN-THE-GREEN HE'D MAKE!"]

* * * * *

THE DISCOUNTER'S DIRGE.

_A Fragmentary Lament found in the Common Pleas after the recent Trial
of_ "S--MM--NS _v._ P--RK--NS--N."

SUPPOSED TO BE SLIGHTLY ALTERED FROM CAMPBELL.

"And I could veep," the _Oneida Chief's_
Caucasian vendor thus begun--