stammered MR. TRUEPENNY, colouring like a girl.

"He has a little business to do, but has promised to join us in the
evening," said FRED.

"Oh, certainly, with pleasure--in the evening," said TRUEPENNY.

"You'll not fail, TOM?" cried Fred, holding up his finger.

"Depend on my punctuality," replied MR. TRUEPENNY. And then--strangely
confused as I thought--he bowed to me, and hurried off.

"He's an excellent fellow," said FRED.

"It was very lucky that you met him, FRED," said I.

"_Very_," answered FRED.

* * * * *

THE IRRESISTIBLES; OR, HORSE GUARDS (BLACK).

It is to be hoped that all those cab-drivers who are dissatisfied with
the Hackney Carriage Act will enlist in the British army. A regiment of
these fellows would carry everything before them; no troops whatever
could stand their charge.

* * * * *

NEWSPAPER PROMOTION.--The "ENORMOUS STRAWBERRY" to the columns of the
provincial newspapers, _vice_ the "ENORMOUS GOOSEBERRY", broken for
incapacity.

* * * * *

WHAT I SAW, HEARD, AND THOUGHT AT CHOBHAM.

(_By one who has mentally been there_).

I saw the Light Cavalry so heavily accoutred that it seemed a perfect
farce ever to have ordered them on "active" service.

I saw the Infantry dressed in such torturingly tight coats, that it
appeared a bitter mockery to bid them "stand at ease:" and I thought
that what made them smart on parade must make them anything but smart in
actual service.

I saw the troops generally learning to stand water as well as to stand
fire: and I thought a drenching shower rather seemed to damp their
military ardour.

I thought that most of the regiments, in attacking a sham enemy, would
be attacked by a real one in the shape of rheumatism: while many a brave
fellow who never owned to a defeat would return to his quarters
completely weather-beaten.

I heard young ENSIGN DRAWLINGTON complain that it was a "horwid baw fa
fla who's--aw--fond of Opwa and Clabs--and--aw--that sorthing, to be
fawced to leave town for this fernal camp affaiaw:" and I thought the
gallant officer would feel considerably more at home in the Theatre of
St. James's than in the Theatre of War.

I saw a force of nearly two dozen policemen sent to keep in order nearly
ten thousand men: and I thought that the "force" should be rather called
a "weakness" on the part of the Government.

In short, I saw on a