well-appointed carriage--is almost the only eleemosynary kind of person,
except the actual mendicant, existing among HER MAJESTY'S subjects. The
funds which serve for the maintenance of the order of industrious
poverty to which this useful member of society belongs, are derived from
freehold and personal property together with rent-charges on land,
amounting on the whole to L50,000,000. That all this property was
granted by our ancestors for charitable purposes--to wit hospitals and
schools--attests their munificence; whilst how prosperous we are is
evident from the fact, that in order to use up all their bounty, we roll
several hundred paupers into one.

* * * * *

THE HEROES OF A HUNDRED SHOWERS.

The Clerk of the Weather ought certainly to be called to account for his
treatment of our gallant soldiers at Chobham, who have been literally in
"soak" during nearly the whole of the present campaign. The incessant
wet is, in fact, a reflection upon the courage of the military, for we
may well ask if they are subjected to weather that is always foul on the
principle, that "none but the brave deserve the fair."

* * * * *

THE MAD CABMAN'S SONG OF SIXPENCE.

Wot's this?--wot hever is this 'ere?
Eh?--arf a suvrin!--feels like vun--
Boohoo! they won't let me have no beer
Suppose I chucks it up into the sun!--
No--that ain't right--
The yaller's turned wite!
Ha, ha, ho!--he's sold and done--
Come, I say!--I won't stand that--
'Tis all my eye and BETTY MARTIN
Over the left and all round my hat,
As the pewter pot said to the kevarten.

Who am I? HEMPRER of the FRENCH
LEWIS NAPOLEON BONYPART,
Old Spooney, to be sure--
Between you and me and the old blind oss.
And the doctor says there ain't no cure.
D'ye think I care for the blessed Bench?--
From Temple Bar to Charing Cross?
Two mile and better--arf a crown--
Talk of screwing a feller down!
As for poor BILL, it's broke his art.
Cab to the Moon, Sir? Here you are!--
That's--how much?--
A farthin' touch!
Now as we can't demand back fare.

But, guv'ner, wot can this 'ere be?--
The fare of a himperial carridge?
You don't mean all this 'ere for me!
In course you ain't heerd about my marridge--
I feels so precious keveer!
How was it I got that kick o' the ed?
I've ad a slight hindisposition,