able aloofness.

"Moddom is not keeping the hat," she said.

I felt somehow a little snubbed, and said no more, and, my parcel
appearing at this moment, I paid and departed.

Nancy's joy over the jumper more than came up to my expectations. When
she had calmed down a little I bethought myself of the matter of the
hat.

"Oh, yes," said Nancy in reply to my question, "I sent it back after
all. It won't matter in the least now that you have bought this."

"But why didn't you keep it?" I said.

"Well, I really felt I didn't like it so very much," said Nancy, "and,
as you didn't seem quite to like it either--"

"My dear girl," I protested, "I told you I thought it was charming."

"Well, anyway you said that blue didn't suit me," persisted my wife.
"You _did_, George."

There was a moment's pause. It was no use saying anything. Suddenly
Nancy jumped up and clutched me by the arm.

"George," she said anxiously, "you didn't, you didn't say anything
about that hat to the girl in the shop, did you?"

"I believe I mentioned that I thought it was extremely pretty, and
that I was sorry you weren't keeping it," I replied airily. "But why?"
For my wife's face had suddenly assumed an expression of horrified
dismay.

"I shall never be able to go into that shop again," she wailed,
"never. I wrote them a note saying that I was not keeping the hat
because _my husband very much disliked it_, and that I didn't care
ever to wear anything of which he didn't approve."

What is really very unfair about the whole thing is that I know
that Nancy thinks me entirely to blame. Indeed she told me so. When
I ventured to point out that she had not been quite truthful in
the matter she was at first genuinely and honestly amazed, and
subsequently so indignant that I was fain ultimately to apologise.

In looking back upon the episode I am filled with admiration for
the red-haired girl. I consider that she showed extraordinary
self-restraint in what must have been a peculiarly tempting situation.

R.F.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Raw Hand_ (_at sea for first time and observing
steamer's red and green lights_). "'ERE'S SOME LIGHTS ON THE STARBOARD
SIDE, SIR."

_Officer_. "WELL, WHAT IS IT?"

_R.H_. "LOOKS TO ME LIKE A CHEMIST'S SHOP, SIR."]

* * * * *

SMALL-TALK.

"Of course you must come," said Mary; "it's nonsense to say you can't
dance."

Mary is married to my f