fumigated band.
Now there's not a micrococcus in the garden where they play
And they bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day,
Taking each his daily ration from a hygienic cup,
The baby and the bunny and the prophylactic pup.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE QUESTION OF PEACE CELEBRATIONS IS BEING CONSIDERED
BY A COMMITTEE OF THE CABINET.]

* * * * *

RAPID PROMOTION.

"Cpl. A.A.C. Earl of Shaftesbury, K.P., K.C.V.O., relinquishes
his appt. (March 1), and is granted the hon. rank of
Brig.-Gen."--_Daily Paper_.

* * * * *

FROM THE STREET OF ADVENTURE.

Journalistic reconstructions and amalgamations have been proceeding
so rapidly and extensively of late that there seems no end to the
kaleidoscopic possibilities of the future.

Up to the present, however, no confirmation can be obtained of
the startling rumor that _The Spectator_ has been purchased by the
proprietors of _The Kennel Gazette_, and will henceforth be devoted
to the interests of our four-footed friends, the supplements being
restricted to purely feline amenities.

Another persistent rumour, which hitherto lacks the seal of official
corroboration, is to the effect that _The Guardian_ is to be given a
new range of activity as the organ of scientific spiritualism, under
the title of _The Guardian Angel_ and the joint editorship of Sir
Oliver Doyle and Sir Conan Lodge. The investigations into multiple
consciousness conducted by these two eminent _savants_ have proved
their mutual convertibility to such an extent that they have decided
upon this rearrangement of their names. If the scheme materialises
the stimulating collaboration of Mr. HAROLD BEGBIE is a foregone
conclusion, and there is even a possibility of contributions from
an August Exile somewhere in Holland.

A third report maintains with minute circumstantiality that the
proprietors of _The Economist_, having come to the conclusion that
this journal needs brightening, have decided to entrust the post of
principal leader-writer to "CALLISTHENES," and retain the services of
the authoress of _The Tunnel_ as financial _feuilleton_ writer. But
on enquiry at the London School of Economics we could not obtain any
definite information.

The rumours that _The Morning Post_ is about to be merged in _The
Winning Post_, and that Mr. MAXSE is starting an evening paper, to be
called _The