by threatening to have the _creche_ cleared."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE RECKONING.

PAN-GERMAN. "MONSTROUS, I CALL IT. WHY, IT'S FULLY A QUARTER OF WHAT
_WE_ SHOULD HAVE MADE _THEM_ PAY, IF _WE_'D WON."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, April 14th_.--The Criminal Injuries (Ireland) Bill furnished
the LORD CHANCELLOR with the text for a rather gloomy sermon on the
present state of the sister-country. The King's Writ still runs there,
but in many counties is outstripped by the rival _fiat_ of Sinn Fein.
A tribute to the impeccable behaviour of "law-abiding" Ulster appeared
to stir in the breast of Lord CREWE memories of the pre-war prancings
of a certain "Galloper," for he remarked that the noble lord's
information seemed to be "partial and recent."

Exception has recently been taken to the cab-shelter in Palace Yard,
some Members objecting that its architectural design was out of
harmony with that of the Houses of Parliament, and others complaining
that its internal attractions were so great as to seduce the taxi-men
from paying any attention to prospective fares. Sir ALFRED MOND, after
long consideration, has decided to abolish the offending edifice
and to give the drivers a shelter in the Vaults, where the police
will discourage them from exceeding in the matter of "rest and
refreshment."

Members were naturally eager to hear what Mr. BONAR LAW, freshly
flown from Paris, had to tell them about the Peace Conference, the
prospects of hanging the EX-KAISER, and so forth, but received little
information, save that the Government shared the popular desire that
no legal quibble should prevent the arch-criminal being brought to
justice. Members were a little comforted, however, by the announcement
that a Committee of the Cabinet is already considering the whole
question of Peace-celebrations. While Mr. LLOYD GEORGE is engaged (if
the image is permitted) in fighting beasts at Ephesus it is pleasant
to think of his colleagues deciding upon the relative merits of
crackers and Catherine-wheels, flares and bonfires, church-bells and
steam-sirens, as means for the expression of the national joy.

[Illustration: SIR A. MOND AND AN EFFICIENT CAB SERVICE FOR MEMBERS.

At a blast on whistle the cab-drivers will down tea-cups, cake,
kippers or what-not, and double smartly on to parade.]

After the loud orgy of headline which followed upon his re