it queer--
Turned towards his dexter ear.
But what really made him great
Was--he always _saw_ things straight.

Out in France, a year ago,
He was cornered by the foe;
Neither party had a gun,
But the odds were three to one
And the Huns were fit and strong;
One was lean and very long,
One was short and stout of calf,
While the third was half and half.

Jimmy, spoiling for a fight,
Fixed the short one with his right,
While his left with martial glare
Met the long 'un's startled stare;
But--I know it sounds absurd--
He was _looking_ at the third.

Jimmy was, I'd have you know,
Something of a boxing pro.,
So he knew the golden maxim:
"He who eyes his man best whacks him."
Shorty, when he saw the grim
Optic that was turned on him,
Thinking Jimmy's fist looked hard
Prudently remained on guard.
Canny Hun! And who can blame
Longshanks if he did the same?
But our hero, irritated,
Grassed the third man while they waited.

Filled with rage and anger, both
Rushed upon him with an oath,
Eager now to slit the gizzard
Of that astigmatic wizard,
Till they noticed with dismay
_Both_ his eyes were far away!
(One eye sought the earth, while one
Seemed to contemplate the sun.)

Both stopped dead; the same cold thought
At their jangling heart-strings caught.
Longshanks, trembling at the knee,
Quavered, "Hans, he's watching _me_!"
Shorty whimpered, scared to fits,
"No, it's _me_ he's after, Fritz!"
Sick with fear, their souls revolted;
As one man they turned and bolted.

At them Spry in mild amaze
(Literally) bent his gaze,
Sighed, and then without a word
Wandered homeward with the third.

* * * * *

BAR BABIES.

[Lord Justice BANKS recently referred to the possible
establishment of a Law Courts' _creche_, where the female
barrister might leave her young while engaged in forensic
duties.]

_From "The Law Times" of 192--._

"A Violent altercation took place yesterday in the room
allotted to infants of the Junior Bar (adjoining the Court
of Pathetic Appeal) between his nurse and little Johnnie,
the teething infant of Mrs. Flapperton, who, by the way,
we noticed being measured only the other day for silk. The
Court Husher having failed to produce silence, Mrs. Justice
Spankhurst had to intervene, and only succeeded in restoring
order