sel, addressing the Recorder, "that Mr.
Healy has the Testament." Hearing his name mentioned, Mr. Healy looked
up, realised what had occurred, and, with apologies, handed it over.

"You see, sir," added the counsel, "Mr. Healy was so interested that he
did not know of our loss. He took it for a new publication." For once
Mr. Healy's nimble wit failed him, and forced him to submit to the
humiliation of being scored off.

In the North of Ireland the peasantry pronounce the word witness
"wetness." At Derry Assizes a man said he had brought his "wetness" with
him to corroborate his evidence. "Bless me," said the judge, "about what
age are you?"--"Forty-two my last birthday, my lord," replied the
witness. "Do you mean to tell the jury," said the judge, "that at your
age you still have a wet nurse?"--"Of course I have, my lord." Counsel
hereupon interposed and explained.

The witness who gave the following valuable testimony, however, was
probably keeping strictly to fact. "I sees Phelim on the top of the
wall. 'Paddy,' he says. 'What,' says I. 'Here,' says he. 'Where?' says
I. 'Hush,' says he. 'Whist,' says I. And that's all."

The wit of the Irish Bar seems to infect even the officers of the Courts
and the people who enter the witness-box. It is impossible, for example,
not to admire the fine irony of the usher who, when he was told to clear
the Court, called out: "All ye blaggards that are not lawyers lave the
building."

Irish judges have much greater difficulties to contend against, because
the people with whom they have to deal have a fund of ready retort.
"Sir," said an exasperated Irish judge to a witness who refused to
answer the questions put to him--"sir, this is a contempt of Court."--"I
know it, my lord, but I was endeavouring to concale it," was the
irresistible reply.

A certain Irish attorney threatening to prosecute a printer for
inserting in his paper the death of a person still living, informed him
that "No person should publish a death unless informed of the fact by
the party deceased."

A rather amusing story is told of a trial where one of the Irish jurymen
had been "got at" and bribed to secure the jury agreeing to a verdict of
"Manslaughter," however much they might want to return one upon the
capital charge of "Murder." The jury were out for several hours, and it
was believed that eventually the result would be that they would not
agree upon a verdict at all. However, close upon midnight, they