he clerk. "The Lords of Council and Session."--"Session,"
continued the scribe--"the Petition of Alexander Macdonald, tenant in
Skye--Skye--humbly sheweth--sheweth." "Stop, John, read what I've
said."--"Yes, sir. 'Unto the Right Honourable the Lords of Council and
Session the Petition of Alexander Macdonald, tenant in Skye, humbly
sheweth.'"--"Very well, John, very well. Where did you stop?"--"Humbly
sheweth--that the petitioner--petitioner"--here a pause for a
minute--"that the petitioner. It's down, sir." Here the master got up,
walked about the room, scratched his head, took snuff, but in vain; the
inspiration had fled with the mysterious word "petitioner." The clerk
looked up somewhat amazed that his master had got that length, and at
last ventured to suggest that the difficulty might be got over. "How,
John?" exclaimed his master. "As you have done the most important part,
what would you say, sir, to send the paper to be finished by Mr. M----
with a guinea?"--"The very thing, John, tak' the paper to Mr. M----,
and as we've done the maist fickle pairt of the work he's deevilish weel
aff wi' a guinea."

We are indebted to the author of that capital collection of Scottish
anecdote, _Thistledown_, for the following story, as illustrating one of
the many humorous attempts to get the better of the law, and one in
which the lawyer was "hoist with his own petard." A dealer having hired
a horse to a lawyer, the latter, either through bad usage or by
accident, killed the beast, upon which the hirer insisted upon payment
of its value; and if it was not convenient to pay costs, he expressed
his willingness to accept a bill. The lawyer offered no objection, but
said he must have a long date. The hirer desired him to fix his own
time, whereupon the writer drew a promissory note, making it payable at
the day of judgment. An action ensued, when in defence, the lawyer asked
the judge to look at the bill. Having done so, the judge replied: "The
bill is perfectly good, sir; and as this is the day of judgment, I
decree that you pay to-morrow."

Joseph Gillon was a well-known Writer to the Signet early in the
nineteenth century. Calling on him at his office one day, Sir Walter
Scott said, "Why, Joseph, this place is as hot as an oven."--"Well,"
quoth Gillon, "and isn't it here that I make my bread?"

A celebrated Scottish preacher and pastor was visiting the house of a
solicitor who was one of his flock, but had a reputation of indul