with consternation, and the judge stared in the air, looking
unutterable things, and frantically called out, "Macer, what in the name
of God is that?" The macer looked round in vain, when the wag called
out, "It's 'Jack Alive,' my lord."--"Dead or alive, put him out this
moment," called out the judge. "We can't grip him, my lord."--"If he has
the art of hell, let every man assist to arraign him before me, that I
may commit him for this outrage and contempt." Everybody tried to
discover the offender, and fortunately the music ceased. But it began
again half an hour afterwards, and the judge exclaimed, "Is he there
again? By all that's sacred, he shall not escape me this time--fence,
bolt, bar the doors of the Court, and at your peril let not a man,
living or dead, escape." All was bustle and confusion, the officers
looked east and west, and up in the air and down on the floor; but the
search was in vain. The judge at last began to suspect witchcraft, and
exclaimed, "This is a _deceptio auris_--it is absolute delusion,
necromancy, phantasmagoria." And to the day of his death the judge never
understood the precise origin of this unwonted visitation.

On another occasion, in his own Court in the Parliament House, he was
annoyed by a noise near the door, and called to the macer, "What is that
noise?"--"It's a man, my lord."--"What does he want?"--"He _wants in_,
my lord."--"Keep him out!" The man, it seems, did get in, and soon
afterwards a like noise was renewed, and his lordship again demanded,
"What's the noise there?"--"It's the same man, my lord."--"What does he
want now?"--"He _wants out_, my lord."--"Then _keep him in_--I say,
_keep him in_!"

* * * * *

Lord President Campbell, after the fashion of those times, was somewhat
addicted to browbeating young counsel; and as bearding a judge on the
Bench is not a likely way to rise in favour, his lordship generally got
it all his own way. Upon one occasion, however, he caught a tartar. His
lordship had what are termed pig's eyes, and his voice was thin and
weak. Corbet, a bold and sarcastic counsel in his younger days, had been
pleading before the Inner House, and as usual the President commenced
his attack, when his intended victim thus addressed him: "My lord, it is
not for me to enter into any altercation with your lordship, for no one
knows better than I do the great difference between us; you occupy the
highest place on the Bench, and