The policeman-philosopher's precepts were duly printed, framed, and
placed against the wall of the family sitting-room. After paying only
fifteen of the thirty visits to the house directed by the judge, the
results could not have been more gratifying. Mr. and Mrs. Quan were
delighted, and presented the guide to martial bliss with a handsome
token of their gratitude in the form of a gold watch.

Many of the droll sayings of the American Bench of past years are
attributable to the fact that the judges were appointed by popular vote,
and the successful candidate was not always a man of high attainments in
the practice of his profession at the Bar, or of profound learning in
the laws of his country. Too often he was a man of no better education
than the mass of litigants upon whose causes he was called to
adjudicate. For instance, a Kentuckian judge cut short a tedious and
long-winded counsel by suddenly breaking into his speech with: "If the
Court is right, and she thinks she air, why, then, you are wrong, and
you knows you is. Shut up!"

"What are you reading from?" demanded Judge Dowling, who had in his
earlier life been a fireman and later a police officer. "From the
statutes of 1876, your honour," was the reply. "Well, you needn't read
any more," retorted the judge; "I'm judge in this Court, and my statutes
are good enough law for anybody." A codified law and precedent cases
were of no account to this "equity" judge.

But these are mild instances of the methods of early American judges
compared with the summing up of Judge Rodgers--Old Kye, as he was
called--in an action for wrongful dismissal brought before him by an
overseer. "The jury," said his honour, "will take notice that this Court
is well acquainted with the nature of the case. When this Court first
started in the world it followed the business of overseering, and if
there is a business which this Court understands, it's hosses, mules,
and niggers; though this Court never overseed in its life for less than
eight hundred dollars. And this Court in hoss-racing was always
naterally gifted; and this Court in running a quarter race whar the
hosses was turned could allers turn a hoss so as to gain fifteen feet in
a race; and on a certain occasion it was one of the conditions of the
race that Kye Rodgers shouldn't turn narry of the hosses." Surely it
must have been Old Kye who, upon taking his official seat for the first
time, said: "If this Court know her duty,